Post 38: More on God as Personal and Experiential

In the past six or so months, my life as a Christian has turned in a way I never imagined it would. I ventured into a field of Christian theology known as apologetics. I've learned the knowledge of defenders of the faith like William Lane Craig, Ravi Zacharias, Hugh Ross, and so on. This has coupled with my natural propensity to learn things quickly and has resulted in me gaining a very large mental library of knowledge about rational defense of the Christian faith. I have at least a basic understanding of six philosophical arguments to support the existence of the Biblical God and can probably provide a decent defense the historical accuracy of the Bible. This passion to understand the faith is something I've held for as long as I can remember yet is sadly absent from most of my peers.

However, even with all this knowledge, I still find myself occasionally in doubt. You'd think this is the most bizarre issue that I could have. Like, really? I've ventured into fields of knowledge that most are apathetic toward at best, and I'm still not 100% confident in my faith? It's true. It's no secret that God is, on a day-to-day basis, quite hidden from humanity. Because he's not made of matter or energy, he's not something we can detect with our physical senses. Because he is infinite and eternal, he is not something we can fully comprehend or understand with our human thinking. The Bible says that a person cannot see God and live; if God were to appear in front of me, it would be my death. His pure holiness would destroy my physical body (or something like that). Rather, God is spirit and to perceive him you must be able to perceive spiritually. I do have friends who are more in-tune with things spiritual; I don't quite have that gifting.

It seems that the issue boils down to this: I have trouble encountering God in a personal, experiential manner. Despite Christianity being a "personal relationship," I must concede there are not too many things which have happened over the past four years which I could call personal. On a practical, daily level, it's been more of a matter of obedience than personal interaction. Then there is the experiential aspect. I have experienced things which I attribute to God - healings, hearing from God, warnings, etc. - yet these are unfortunately far and few in between, which makes them difficult to anchor upon.

I want to experience God on a more tangible, real level, outside the lines of ink that make up my Bible or my short nightly prayers. I've ruminated on this in a previous post, and some of the possibilities listed by it still apply here. Some ways I might experience God:

• Miraculous events - I've experienced at least one of my own, as well as seeing/hearing of several others.
• Worship - egad. Pentecostals are (in)famous for this. Speaking in tongues. Being slain in the Spirit. My response to God hasn't been particularly emotional, so I don't really experience anything supernatural in this. I make a really good Baptist in this regard.
• "Hearing" God through thoughts - as I've said before, this has happened to me a couple times.
• Conscience - this is one I don't often consider, and I really should. When your conscience inexplicably (or explicably as the case may be) tells you something, that's the God trying to get your attention via the Holy Spirit.
• "Feeling" God presence - been over two years since I mentioned this, and I still don't know how one does that.
• Observing how God works through the world around you - like how things turn out for fellow believers, etc., etc.

This list isn't very helpful. It's just a list. These are ways that God might appear to me, but it doesn't help with my problem. How might one come to experience God? Or encounter him in a personal way? I'd like for that to happen. Dear God, please reveal yourself to me, because I am a stubborn fool that wants to rely on my own understanding.

Post 37: Rite of Initiation or, What it Mean to be a Man

A couple days ago I was reading an article on the site called The Art of Manliness and it talked about rites of initiation. These are events in a young man's life that marks their transition from being a boy to being a man. It mentioned some things that I found were interesting.

To my surprise, it seems that a lot of adult males don't feel like they are men. Being 20, I consider myself a man. I figured I officially transitioned from boyhood to manhood on my 18th birthday. By that point I had graduated high school and moved over 900 miles to a new state in the country. I would soon have a job and, less than a year later, enter college.

Part of the reason many men don't feel like men, the article seems to say, is because as a society we lack that rite of initiation that more traditional societies have. There is no absolute delimiter. Instead, people use a lot of different major life events to personally mark when they enter manhood. It could be when they get their driver's license (which I've not yet done, but am in the process of doing!), graduate from high school, become the age where you're legally considered an adult, and so on. If the person belongs to a religious organization there could be something like that. In Christianity, there's a tradition of water baptism, where the person identifies with the death and resurrection of Jesus. Jews have the bar mitzvah for young men where at age 13 are considered to be full adults in the Jewish community. Catholic Christians, in addition to water baptism, have the sacrament of Confirmation.

Within a small span of time, I've had many experiences which could be considered rites of initiation to manhood: water baptism at my Protestant Christian church; a few days later, graduating from high school; two days later, arriving in Kansas after a long trip half way across the nation; turning 18; getting my first real job; and registering to vote.

However, I feel that if I were personally to have a "rite of initiation" into manhood, it wouldn't be any of those things. With the exception of the long move, these are pretty generic. When I think of being a man, there's some words that come to my mind: leader, self-reliant, wise, intelligent, strong, crafty, mild-tempered, resilient, and so on. In the comments section of the page there were some good ideas for what a personalized rite of initiation would be like. I suppose my own rite of initiation would involve three main fields: my spirituality, physical strength, and practical skills.

Now, I don't really care for the idea of having children currently, but it's possible that someday I will have a son. I have a speculation about what I might do for a rite of initiation. Should I ever have children I do intend to raise them in a strongly Christian home and we would retain the tradition of water baptism. That wouldn't be the "rite of initiation," though. That's meant to be done when a person makes a decision to openly associate with Jesus's death and resurrection. My idea is this:

Perhaps a weekend or two after graduation or his turning 18, whichever occurs last, there would be a trip taken to the woods. Perhaps it would be a camping expedition. The only people attending would be me, the son, and a couple friends of mine who I know to be wise and godly. Over the course of the weekend we would teach him how to do things like starting fires (not to burn down the forest of course!), fishing, and other skills that would make him handy around the house and in daily life. We'd also do some running to build up the physique, although myself and my friends may run out of energy long before he did. The most important part, I think, would be when we're sitting around the campfire. Myself and my friends would discuss life with him. I'm sure that at 18 he would still have lots of questions about God, women, life, and so on. We'd hear and answer his questions, and dispense valuable bits of wisdom to him. The outcome of this, hopefully, would be a young man equipped to grow as a wise and capable individual that knows the proper way to face life and reach his fullest potential in whatever goals he may set.

Post 36: An Alternative Lifestyle

The other day, I was thinking to myself. I don't want to settle for the 9 to 5 job life. For the longest time I felt like I wanted to get into freelancing, since it offers much more flexibility. I can work when I want on what I wish to work on. Hopefully I would be able to make a good income off of this. Then I thought, I really wouldn't mind just being a part-timer. That is, if the job wasn't something I was really passionate about. 


I'd like to think of myself as not much of a materialistic person. There isn't very much that I actually need. I don't own very much stuff, and (excluding furniture) what I do have could probably fit in a car trunk - clothes included. I wouldn't mind getting a cheap apartment that has cable, telephone and quality Internet access, along with running water and air conditioning. I'd spend most of my free time on the computer, anyway. If even a part time job could provide enough money that I could pay off the necessities and still be able to live comfortably, I'd be all set. I just really don't like the idea of giving years of my life to a job that I don't even have passion for and leaves me so tired when I'm done that I don't have the energy to follow my dreams. I see this way too often and I'm somewhat determined to stay out of that rut.


I'm also a morning person. I don't mind the idea of getting up at like 7 or 8 in the morning. I have a friend who lives on a farm and he does all sorts of errands. I would guess he usually starts his work around 8 or 9 and goes on until maybe 2 or so in the afternoon. I rather admire that work ethic he has and would do well to adopt it myself. A sustaining part time job that would be over at about noon or 1 PM would, then, be almost ideal for me. 


So what would I do with the free time, then? Probably take the chance to pursue my dreams, the thing I really want to do. Perhaps do freelancing. Write a book, try to make money via the Internet. Do more with my ministry. I wouldn't want to waste all this time though, by doing pointless ventures. Perhaps unfortunately, I'm thinking in terms of dollar signs. I do wish to monetize my skills and if the job I have doesn't use them, then I would probably look for other ways to do so. I would try to have fun, of course. Another advantage of being done early in the afternoon is that I could socialize with friends, who have similar work schedules. 


I'm quite inspired by various people I've discovered through gaming, who either don't have full time jobs or don't actually have a job proper. Etho, who is currently my favorite Minecraft gamer, admitted today he's a horticulturist, a seasonal job. Most of his income comes from his videos. Kurtjmac quit a job he disliked many months ago and has devoted most of his time to YouTube  videos. He's saved up quite a bit of money to support himself and there's a "tip jar" where people can make personal donations to him. Then there's the Yogscast, who presumably make tons of money and don't seem to have actual jobs. I see these people follow their video and gaming passions and are able to monetize those. I'm good at writing, programming, and ministry (though I certainly don't intend to make money off of that), and could also possibly work in some teaching role. Maybe, just maybe, I can escape the rat race and do stuff a bit more meaningful and satisfying than the normal 40 hours a week life.