In my atheist years I was basically liberal. I felt that everyone should do as they wished, respecting authority when necessary. I also felt that it was good for the government to help those who needed it. At times that included my own family, since we never really were all that rich.
Conversion to Christianity resulted in a change in political affiliation. Since I had begun to believe there were in fact concrete morals, I went from social liberal to social conservative. This means that I felt the government should help support traditional (i.e., Christian) values and morals. I remained economically liberal, thinking the government should help the needy as appropriate. This sort of separates me from the high-profile Christians, who are strongly conservative through-and-through.
I didn't think that there was an actual term for my political affiliation. I called myself a centrist because I was fairly evenly divided between Republican and Democratic ideologies. Then during a government class in college I realized that my orientation was called "populist," apparently more common historically in the northwestern, mountain states. Its polar opposite is libertarian. So for the past few years I have been a strong populist. I believed that people should honor Christian values, and the government should help in giving economic assistance to those who need it. I sort of support the Occupy movement in that people making tons of money don't really need all that cash, especially since they will never use a lot of it and thus it could be better used elsewhere.
Recently while browsing on my preferred Christian forum, someone asked for people to explain their political views. Surprisingly, a lot of Christians are not conservative. I cited Acts 2 and 4, where the early church is shown to be very communal. In modern parlance, socialistic. Indeed, in my high school years I had socialistic leanings in my political beliefs, and to this day I still do.
However, in that same thread, a few others said things that got my brain churning. The next person to respond was a libertarian - my polar opposite! His argument was essentially this: We are made with free will, so we have the right to choose what we do. Jesus did not force anyone to follow him. Instead he let them decide for themselves. Therefore trying to force a society that is not godly to follow God's standard is not the example Jesus set for us and indeed, it's futile.
Another person, who has since that time become the chief administrator of the forum, pointed out another flaw in my thinking. The early church that I base my political belief upon is drastically different from American society in a crucial way. The early church was very oriented to God. The Holy Spirit was working strongly in them, making it natural for them to share with each other and be communal. American society, on the other hand, is anything but that. Capitalism has created a culture that says "Mine! Mine!" and it certainly lacks the Spirit's power.
While contemplating these things, I realized something about myself. As I said before, I have now begun to believe there is a concrete moral system that exists. And I have generally felt that everyone should follow this moral system. But guess what? Trying to get non-Christians to follow the Christian moral system is next to impossible to do!
So now I see that wanting a communal society, as nice as it may be, is day dreaming at best. Indeed, social conservatism seems like something that doesn't work to well. It's trying to force a set of values on a group of people who are unwilling to accept it.
Now the question may arise. Do I have the right to force my opinions on others? I certainly have the right to state my opinions. That's a fundamental of freedom. This results in an interesting dichotomy. Some of you will say, "No, you don't have the right to force your opinion on me." But is that not what you're attempting to do with me? Forcing your liberalism on me? Clearly, I would say, trying to get others to believe as you do is right. We do it all the time. But should we? As I said before, Jesus did not force people to come to him. He let them choose. What does this mean in the arena of politics? Surprisingly enough, let them do what they will. In the social sphere today, things like gay marriage and abortion are causing tons of conflict between non-Christian and Christian. Believers are attempting to cram Christian values down the throats of those who do not wish to accept those morals. Fine. They want these things? Let them have what they want. For me, it feels wrong to vote yes on a law that would permit abortion. Those are lives that are being killed, and I'm not doing anything to stop it. But as I've shown, trying to prevent it does no good. In ancient times, and even the days of Rome, it wasn't unheard of to get rid of babies. Did the church rally against it? No. Why should we now?
As much as I may be socially conservative myself, it's impractical to be that way in terms of law. So it almost seems logically superior to be liberal in this regard.
Now, for the economic side of things. I still contend that the government should help those who need it. But with a condition: people who can work should seek it. If you don't work, you don't eat. That's still economically liberal. I think it's practical. So all of this leaves me thinking that instead of being an ideological populist, it may indeed be more practical and even akin to what Jesus's life was like to be a liberal, even libertarian!
Friday, February 24, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Post 32: Progress Report
I have a strange ability. Often when people set out to do things, to chase their dreams, they give up along the way. I'm not doing well on my New Years' Resolutions but with the things I mentioned in the previous post I'm actually doing really well! Here's a little update for you.
There's still about six months until I head off to university. I have decided that I'm going to Kansas State University. For good reason too: not only is it cheaper, I have something like over $6,000 in scholarships coming my way for my high grades and Phi Theta Kappa membership. A few days ago I spent the better part of my waking hours working on scholarships online, and hopefully I'll win one or two. In high school I applied for something like seven of them but didn't win any. Despite having insanely high grades and strong writing skills. Oh well. Still need to look into student loans. I figure I will go with the Sallie Mae company. Four of my five semesters in community college had 4.0 GPAs with an overall of 3.945.
A couple weeks after graduating I got my degree in the mail. I was so proud of it, I was telling everyone I got in contact with. It has a nice leather cover and the degree is laminated inside. Fifteen years of schooling have culminated in receiving that degree, and dangit I want to utilize it! I could contact the local employment agency to see what jobs, if any, are open around here. I'm hesitant to do that however, because I already have a job. Picking up two jobs, even if both are part time, would curtail a lot of my free time. Instead, I'm improving my Web design skills via volunteer work. I play a game called NationStates and lately I've been building the Web site for the group I am a member of. One of my weak points is graphic design but that's being improved with time.
Related to that, I'm still learning how to program in Java. I've finished reading the textbook I bought so now I'm just looking around and trying projects to improve my skills.
One of the things I was really concerned about the last time I posted was driving. I took the permit test and failed the first time. It's a series of 25 or so questions and you can get no more than 5 wrong otherwise you fail. I had 9 wrong the first time. A couple of them were kind of dumb mistakes but a couple others were questions worded very trickily. My second time, a week later, I passed having made only three mistakes. My official permit came in the mail a week or so later.
After that I had to find people to teach me to drive! I need 40 hours of daytime driving and 10 hours of nighttime driving. At first nobody was really willing to help. Then a month later I received like 3 or 4 offers. My first time driving was a Saturday after work. I discovered that driving isn't nearly as difficult as it may appear, but the mechanics are also slightly different from what I always assumed. I'm naturally a fast learner and this was no exception. At first I was nervous to get up to 20 mph but now I consider that slow! I've spent a lot of time on gravel roads and am itching to get on suburban streets and highways. Definitely looking forward to future driving. I want to put more work into turning, parking, and stopping.
In the field of faith, I have discovered Dr. William Lane Craig's Web site Reasonable Faith. It is a site devoted to Christian apologetics and rational arguments for the existence of God and Jesus. Not only have I learned a lot from it, I've also had my faith strengthened. To be honest, I do often get nervous when I approach areas where the arguments are strongly debated and put through the rigors, however in time I will muster the courage to read through those and understand both sides of the argument. My favorite and most convincing argument, to me, is the teleological argument, also known as the watchmaker theory, fine-tuning, or Intelligent Design. I hope to someday share what I've learned.
There's still about six months until I head off to university. I have decided that I'm going to Kansas State University. For good reason too: not only is it cheaper, I have something like over $6,000 in scholarships coming my way for my high grades and Phi Theta Kappa membership. A few days ago I spent the better part of my waking hours working on scholarships online, and hopefully I'll win one or two. In high school I applied for something like seven of them but didn't win any. Despite having insanely high grades and strong writing skills. Oh well. Still need to look into student loans. I figure I will go with the Sallie Mae company. Four of my five semesters in community college had 4.0 GPAs with an overall of 3.945.
A couple weeks after graduating I got my degree in the mail. I was so proud of it, I was telling everyone I got in contact with. It has a nice leather cover and the degree is laminated inside. Fifteen years of schooling have culminated in receiving that degree, and dangit I want to utilize it! I could contact the local employment agency to see what jobs, if any, are open around here. I'm hesitant to do that however, because I already have a job. Picking up two jobs, even if both are part time, would curtail a lot of my free time. Instead, I'm improving my Web design skills via volunteer work. I play a game called NationStates and lately I've been building the Web site for the group I am a member of. One of my weak points is graphic design but that's being improved with time.
Related to that, I'm still learning how to program in Java. I've finished reading the textbook I bought so now I'm just looking around and trying projects to improve my skills.
One of the things I was really concerned about the last time I posted was driving. I took the permit test and failed the first time. It's a series of 25 or so questions and you can get no more than 5 wrong otherwise you fail. I had 9 wrong the first time. A couple of them were kind of dumb mistakes but a couple others were questions worded very trickily. My second time, a week later, I passed having made only three mistakes. My official permit came in the mail a week or so later.
After that I had to find people to teach me to drive! I need 40 hours of daytime driving and 10 hours of nighttime driving. At first nobody was really willing to help. Then a month later I received like 3 or 4 offers. My first time driving was a Saturday after work. I discovered that driving isn't nearly as difficult as it may appear, but the mechanics are also slightly different from what I always assumed. I'm naturally a fast learner and this was no exception. At first I was nervous to get up to 20 mph but now I consider that slow! I've spent a lot of time on gravel roads and am itching to get on suburban streets and highways. Definitely looking forward to future driving. I want to put more work into turning, parking, and stopping.
In the field of faith, I have discovered Dr. William Lane Craig's Web site Reasonable Faith. It is a site devoted to Christian apologetics and rational arguments for the existence of God and Jesus. Not only have I learned a lot from it, I've also had my faith strengthened. To be honest, I do often get nervous when I approach areas where the arguments are strongly debated and put through the rigors, however in time I will muster the courage to read through those and understand both sides of the argument. My favorite and most convincing argument, to me, is the teleological argument, also known as the watchmaker theory, fine-tuning, or Intelligent Design. I hope to someday share what I've learned.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Post 31: Farewell Community College, Hello Future
On December 8, I completed the last of my final exams. I treated myself to some Subway food. It's been a few days and all but one of the grades on my college's online system have been posted. Of the six classes I took in this semester, five of them have been A's and I suspect the final one, physical science, will be a low A. My GPA as of now is a 3.94. For those who are unfamiliar with the system, that is a grade out of a possible 4.0. Such a GPA is very hard for the typical person to achieve. What's more, this grade was accomplished while being a distance learner; five of my six classes were done over the Internet, using an online education system known as Angel. I worked on the material whenever I wasn't at work.
My time at the community college (ICC) wasn't the typical two-year experience most have. The standard system is four full-time semesters of fall, spring, fall, and spring. Mine started in summer 2010 and ended fall 2011, with five semesters (two of them part-time summer semesters). I have graduated a semester earlier than my classmates. Now I am done and within the next few months will be receiving the degree I've worked to acquire: Associate's of Science in the major of computer science. I am the first person in my household to have a college degree.
But now there is going to be an 8 month period between now and when I start university. My two choices are either Kansas State University or University of Kansas. The former is much cheaper and has a better technology reputation than the latter, so it is my primary choice. During these next eight months, I have many things I want or need to do.
First and foremost is getting my driver's license. Despite being 20 I have yet to take any testing to be able to drive. This is about to change. My youth leaders purchased a copy of the driving handbook a few months ago and I've read it. Over the next few days I'm going to study up on it to refresh my memory. Then Thursday, three days from now, I will take the test to earn my driver's permit. I expect that the written portion will be of no issue for me, and the driving portion will likewise be easy. Once I have acquired my permit I am going to practice my driving with the help of friends and associates who have offered to assist me. I think I need 50 hours of driving experience to get my full license. Also, I need to find an insurance company. For now I will split the cost with my parents. Eventually I will need to call around and see what kind of company I would like to work with.
On top of that, I need a vehicle. For now I will use my father's truck. To be honest, I don't care what my first vehicle is, as long as it's in decent shape and can get me where I need to go.
Second, I want to get more money. University is an expensive thing and student loans are not very appealing to me. Even though I will inevitably have to take out loans, I would still like to buffer them with money I've worked for. At my current workplace, I have told my managers that I'm free whatever day of the week they need me for. Hopefully that will lead to an increase in hours I'm working. Also, I'd like to use my Internet presence. As it stands I have four active blogs, two inactive blogs, a Web site, three Twitter accounts, and a Facebook page. Certainly these, plus my skills at Web development, could earn me a small supply of income. Not much unless I hit it super big, but better than nothing. I could set up a PayPal account and and register with Google's AdSense program. This would enable me to put ads at least on my blogs and Web site (don't worry, I would keep them non-intrusive, probably along the left side of the screen or maybe at the top). As for Twitter and Facebook, I could do other things as well. Facebook also has an ad system which I could utilize for my blogs.
Alongside those two things, I have other smaller things I've wanted to do.
My time at the community college (ICC) wasn't the typical two-year experience most have. The standard system is four full-time semesters of fall, spring, fall, and spring. Mine started in summer 2010 and ended fall 2011, with five semesters (two of them part-time summer semesters). I have graduated a semester earlier than my classmates. Now I am done and within the next few months will be receiving the degree I've worked to acquire: Associate's of Science in the major of computer science. I am the first person in my household to have a college degree.
But now there is going to be an 8 month period between now and when I start university. My two choices are either Kansas State University or University of Kansas. The former is much cheaper and has a better technology reputation than the latter, so it is my primary choice. During these next eight months, I have many things I want or need to do.
First and foremost is getting my driver's license. Despite being 20 I have yet to take any testing to be able to drive. This is about to change. My youth leaders purchased a copy of the driving handbook a few months ago and I've read it. Over the next few days I'm going to study up on it to refresh my memory. Then Thursday, three days from now, I will take the test to earn my driver's permit. I expect that the written portion will be of no issue for me, and the driving portion will likewise be easy. Once I have acquired my permit I am going to practice my driving with the help of friends and associates who have offered to assist me. I think I need 50 hours of driving experience to get my full license. Also, I need to find an insurance company. For now I will split the cost with my parents. Eventually I will need to call around and see what kind of company I would like to work with.
On top of that, I need a vehicle. For now I will use my father's truck. To be honest, I don't care what my first vehicle is, as long as it's in decent shape and can get me where I need to go.
Second, I want to get more money. University is an expensive thing and student loans are not very appealing to me. Even though I will inevitably have to take out loans, I would still like to buffer them with money I've worked for. At my current workplace, I have told my managers that I'm free whatever day of the week they need me for. Hopefully that will lead to an increase in hours I'm working. Also, I'd like to use my Internet presence. As it stands I have four active blogs, two inactive blogs, a Web site, three Twitter accounts, and a Facebook page. Certainly these, plus my skills at Web development, could earn me a small supply of income. Not much unless I hit it super big, but better than nothing. I could set up a PayPal account and and register with Google's AdSense program. This would enable me to put ads at least on my blogs and Web site (don't worry, I would keep them non-intrusive, probably along the left side of the screen or maybe at the top). As for Twitter and Facebook, I could do other things as well. Facebook also has an ad system which I could utilize for my blogs.
Alongside those two things, I have other smaller things I've wanted to do.
- Finish learning Java. I couldn't sell my Java textbook back to the college bookstore, so instead I kept it. I would like to learn Java more and this would give me the opportunity to do just that. It's a common language in the world of electronics.
- Get more traffic to my blogs, particularly my Minecraft blog. I like writing about my life and ideas, but dangit I want to know that people are reading these things and interacting with me. Blogger has a nifty feature that lets me see how many daily visitors my blogs get. The Minecraft blog routinely gets about a dozen per day; "After Adults" get a little less. This blog gets scarcely any. I've begun looking up and joining blog directories, which is why there is now a "Blog Directory Medley" section along the right-hand side.
- Minecraft. I would like to become more creative and accomplish more with that.
- Ministry. After a recent crisis of faith I've decided to temporarily leave the evangelical field in order to rebuild myself. I've neglected Bible reading for a long time, and it's a habit I would like to return to.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Post 30: On Dating and Courting
A couple weeks ago, I broke up with my girlfriend. I will refrain from going into detail about the relationship and the events involved for this post, although I may write about that another time. There was a great deal of joy and pain in the relationship, and I was greatly enlightened by all of it.
Before the relationship happened, I had largely come to believe that there was no chance for anyone to want to date me. Why would they? I'm hardly ugly, but I'm no stunning beast either. As my ex-girlfriend and others have said, I'm introverted to a degree. Normally when there is a large group of people, they will naturally divide into smaller circles of friends. I on the other hand am what I call a "floater" - I mostly stay to myself, walking amongst the groups. Friends and family repeatedly affirm that I do have a strong compassionate streak, however when there is too much open emotion or I'm in a bad mood, I grow impatient, weary, and cease showing emotion or expressing empathy. I have intense passion for computer programming and Star Trek, both which are turn offs to the common gal. Overall, I'm just weird. Yet someone existed that looked past all that and found the good in me to be attractive. So I'm not undateable as I used to think.
In the relationship before this one, I barely knew the name of the young woman and didn't actually know what to do as a boyfriend. The result: on the first day I followed her everywhere before classes, on the second day I avoided her completely, by the end of the week we weren't talking, by the end of the month we broke up. She didn't speak to me another six months. From all this I got the belief I had no romantic skills. That I couldn't make for a good boyfriend. Such seemingly natural skills for normal people - not present in an abnormal person like me.
How wrong that was! After initial hesitation I became very close with my then girlfriend and over time I discovered a side of myself I did not realize could possibly exist. One of strong feeling, ridiculous humor, hugs and kisses, and a love of cuddling. I broke physical, mental, and emotional barriers that had been set up by years of self-doubt and inexperience.
I think above all, I believed I was a failure at relationships, someone who would just never be able to find a girlfriend and have a life-long relationship, although I've long assumed someday I would have a wife. Through the ups, and more importantly the downs, I realized that I'm not a failure at all. In fact, with the levels of knowledge, God-given wisdom, compassion, and even eccentricity stored up in me, I would make for a desirable boyfriend for any young woman seeking a partner who could bring stability, support, and love to her life. I am of a unique, good quality caliber which only young women with above average standards for themselves are likely to seek.
Would I say I've been hurt from the way the relationship ended? Possibly, but I doubt it. I clearly don't see myself as bad boyfriend material; if anything, reflecting on past experiences has bolstered my self-confidence in this area of life. Have I been changed by this? Oh yes.
When I began dating my now ex-girlfriend, I was taking a social science class. One of the topics was types of love styles. Basically, there are six different styles which people demonstrate and experience love. Everyone has a unique set of preferences:
I learned about the depths a relationship can have, even a nonsexual one (her and I were both abstinent, and I'm generally uninterested in trying to engage in sexual activity with anyone). I also learned about the levels of heartbreak that they can have when things go wrong. Wisdom has been gained from this, the kind of wisdom that most people will read and disagree with. But really, it's not like anyone ever agrees with what I say on here, right?
I spent some time researching dating. Historically speaking, it has only appeared in its current form for about a century. The general trend in America seems to be starting in the teen years or even younger (11 years old for me), we start to seek those in the other gender that we consider attractive. I can only speak from secondhand experience in this field as I was never much of a dater. However I can deduct that we seek others as boyfriend and girlfriend for all sorts of reasons: they have attractive personalities, they are sexually attractive, we feel lonely, we feel incomplete as a person, or they just plain out asked us out and we were acceptive. But there's a common denominator: sex. I could rant for hours on this topic but here I will be brief. It has become acceptable for teens and young adults to have sex and that's one of the end goals of most relationships. It happens at some point. In nonreligious and religious secondary schools alike, there is often that statistics where most enter as virgins and exit sexually active. Those who aren't sexually active are teased to some extent for it; I know I have been a good many times. Yes, there are those who for whatever reason, commonly but not necessarily religious reasons, make it clear they're not interested in that. Such relationships, don't seem to last long.
Dating is an evolution, and I daresay a degrading, of an earlier practice called courting. In courting, a man sought out not a girlfriend, but a wife. Oh man, think of the commitment that requires! When he found someone suitable he did the traditional and clever things to woo her and get her hand in marriage. It's not sexual; it's practical. Now, some may call me traditional and maybe to an extent I am. I appreciate values such as modesty, respect of authority, helping others, saying "please" and "thank you," apologizing when I make a mistake, and not treating women as sex objects but rather fellow competent humans. At the same time, I reject traditions that I find irrelevant or unnecessary. I suppose it is the respect I have of these particular traditions, or maybe just plain common sense, that makes me want to get into courting, not dating.
Now, I may not be the kind to buy boxes of chocolate and roses (or maybe I am?) but I want to add more courting qualities to my ventures with the opposite gender. And that starts at the level of practicality. Right now I am twenty years old, carrying a part-time job and attending community college. Dating is for satisfying current desires, emotional and otherwise. Courting is for satisfying the long-term desire for romantic companionship. That means marriage. Am I ready for marriage? At this time, definitely not. And what does dating get me? A temporary fix, nothing more. I have decided that I'm not going to pursue romance with women until I'm out of college with a good job and ready to settle down with someone. I already have some ideas of what makes for a proper mate for me and as time goes on I will doubtlessly add more and change what is already there.
Before the relationship happened, I had largely come to believe that there was no chance for anyone to want to date me. Why would they? I'm hardly ugly, but I'm no stunning beast either. As my ex-girlfriend and others have said, I'm introverted to a degree. Normally when there is a large group of people, they will naturally divide into smaller circles of friends. I on the other hand am what I call a "floater" - I mostly stay to myself, walking amongst the groups. Friends and family repeatedly affirm that I do have a strong compassionate streak, however when there is too much open emotion or I'm in a bad mood, I grow impatient, weary, and cease showing emotion or expressing empathy. I have intense passion for computer programming and Star Trek, both which are turn offs to the common gal. Overall, I'm just weird. Yet someone existed that looked past all that and found the good in me to be attractive. So I'm not undateable as I used to think.
In the relationship before this one, I barely knew the name of the young woman and didn't actually know what to do as a boyfriend. The result: on the first day I followed her everywhere before classes, on the second day I avoided her completely, by the end of the week we weren't talking, by the end of the month we broke up. She didn't speak to me another six months. From all this I got the belief I had no romantic skills. That I couldn't make for a good boyfriend. Such seemingly natural skills for normal people - not present in an abnormal person like me.
How wrong that was! After initial hesitation I became very close with my then girlfriend and over time I discovered a side of myself I did not realize could possibly exist. One of strong feeling, ridiculous humor, hugs and kisses, and a love of cuddling. I broke physical, mental, and emotional barriers that had been set up by years of self-doubt and inexperience.
I think above all, I believed I was a failure at relationships, someone who would just never be able to find a girlfriend and have a life-long relationship, although I've long assumed someday I would have a wife. Through the ups, and more importantly the downs, I realized that I'm not a failure at all. In fact, with the levels of knowledge, God-given wisdom, compassion, and even eccentricity stored up in me, I would make for a desirable boyfriend for any young woman seeking a partner who could bring stability, support, and love to her life. I am of a unique, good quality caliber which only young women with above average standards for themselves are likely to seek.
Would I say I've been hurt from the way the relationship ended? Possibly, but I doubt it. I clearly don't see myself as bad boyfriend material; if anything, reflecting on past experiences has bolstered my self-confidence in this area of life. Have I been changed by this? Oh yes.
When I began dating my now ex-girlfriend, I was taking a social science class. One of the topics was types of love styles. Basically, there are six different styles which people demonstrate and experience love. Everyone has a unique set of preferences:
- Eros: beauty, sexuality, physical attraction.
- Ludus: it's all about having fun!
- Storge: friendship, commitment. Such lovers progress slowly.
- Manic: you go nuts over the other person.
- Pragma: is the other person good for day-to-day life?
- Agape: self-sacrificial, putting what's best of the other person before your own.
I learned about the depths a relationship can have, even a nonsexual one (her and I were both abstinent, and I'm generally uninterested in trying to engage in sexual activity with anyone). I also learned about the levels of heartbreak that they can have when things go wrong. Wisdom has been gained from this, the kind of wisdom that most people will read and disagree with. But really, it's not like anyone ever agrees with what I say on here, right?
I spent some time researching dating. Historically speaking, it has only appeared in its current form for about a century. The general trend in America seems to be starting in the teen years or even younger (11 years old for me), we start to seek those in the other gender that we consider attractive. I can only speak from secondhand experience in this field as I was never much of a dater. However I can deduct that we seek others as boyfriend and girlfriend for all sorts of reasons: they have attractive personalities, they are sexually attractive, we feel lonely, we feel incomplete as a person, or they just plain out asked us out and we were acceptive. But there's a common denominator: sex. I could rant for hours on this topic but here I will be brief. It has become acceptable for teens and young adults to have sex and that's one of the end goals of most relationships. It happens at some point. In nonreligious and religious secondary schools alike, there is often that statistics where most enter as virgins and exit sexually active. Those who aren't sexually active are teased to some extent for it; I know I have been a good many times. Yes, there are those who for whatever reason, commonly but not necessarily religious reasons, make it clear they're not interested in that. Such relationships, don't seem to last long.
Dating is an evolution, and I daresay a degrading, of an earlier practice called courting. In courting, a man sought out not a girlfriend, but a wife. Oh man, think of the commitment that requires! When he found someone suitable he did the traditional and clever things to woo her and get her hand in marriage. It's not sexual; it's practical. Now, some may call me traditional and maybe to an extent I am. I appreciate values such as modesty, respect of authority, helping others, saying "please" and "thank you," apologizing when I make a mistake, and not treating women as sex objects but rather fellow competent humans. At the same time, I reject traditions that I find irrelevant or unnecessary. I suppose it is the respect I have of these particular traditions, or maybe just plain common sense, that makes me want to get into courting, not dating.
Now, I may not be the kind to buy boxes of chocolate and roses (or maybe I am?) but I want to add more courting qualities to my ventures with the opposite gender. And that starts at the level of practicality. Right now I am twenty years old, carrying a part-time job and attending community college. Dating is for satisfying current desires, emotional and otherwise. Courting is for satisfying the long-term desire for romantic companionship. That means marriage. Am I ready for marriage? At this time, definitely not. And what does dating get me? A temporary fix, nothing more. I have decided that I'm not going to pursue romance with women until I'm out of college with a good job and ready to settle down with someone. I already have some ideas of what makes for a proper mate for me and as time goes on I will doubtlessly add more and change what is already there.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Post 29: Twenty: Start of a New Decade of Life
My twentieth birthday is upon us and I figured I would post about it. I'll present the chronological events first, then my thoughts on it.
The day before, August 2nd, I realized that I was turning 20 and began wondering what I wanted to do with the next decade of my life, but I'll elaborate on that later. The morning of my birthday was fairly normal. Work has been unusually busy recently despite the fact we're in a drought, when it would make more sense to stay home. Today was a relatively slow day, which enabled me to act a little slower and joke around a bit more. I received plenty of "Happy birthday"s and looks of amazement when I say I'm turning 20 (I look like I'm 18).
Observing that I hadn't yet received any presents for my birthday, one of my coworkers borrowed markers from another coworker and surprised me with the picture of a slice of cake drawn on a napkin. I thought it was really neat, even though the flame was purple.
I get home and tell my girlfriend of six months, Breanna, that I was home so she could come over. She wanted to visit for my birthday and my parents didn't object. They really like her. My mother suggested I take a shower so I did so. Unexpectedly, Breanna arrives while I'm still in the shower. She and my mom begin chatting while my mother braids her hair. I get out and sit in the living room with them. Recently I've begun wearing tank tops (aka muscle shirts or wifebeaters) because I've seen Breanna wear them and with the kind of 100-degree weeks we've been having lately, I needed something that is semi-decent yet ventilated. At first they're quite itchy but now I'm getting used to it. You know how in the movies, there comes that time when the mother busts out the baby pictures and shows them to the girlfriend? That happened today, and I was not embarrassed by it. I was, however, a little displeased with how I looked between the ages of 11-15.
My father comes home from work and my parents leave for Wal-Mart to get me a cake and a present. I've really been wanting a black fedora but alas they could not find them. They come home and reveal they've bought me a 4 gigabyte memory card for my cell phone much to my nerdy delight. Later on, card problems result in me having my mother's 8 gigabyte card! Our dinner is hot dogs and French fries.
It was originally intended that me and Breanna would head to her church for Wednesday afternoon service however her grandma had some family issues that needed to be attended to and she was low on gas, so it was decided Bre would hang out at my place until sundownWhen my mother's ghost-themed shows started coming on at 6, my father went upstairs into their bedroom to rest and watch the stuff he likes. We spent the evening cuddled up, watching TV with my mother, and playing Farkle. I intermittently logged onto the Internet from my phone. I've had some 30 birthday wishes from friends and family today. Shortly after 9 Bre went home. We hugged and kissed in the living room, to which my mother just had to make a tease. Now my parents have officially seen me kiss a young woman.
Back to what I was considering. My twenties are perhaps the most influential years of my life. What I do in the next decade will largely decide what the rest of my life is. I have big plans for myself and in these next few years I'm going to make it or break it. This is the time in which I join the rest of society, bringing to the table my eccentric way of living and looking at things. I asked myself, "What do I want to do by the time I'm 30?" and here are a few ideas:
The day before, August 2nd, I realized that I was turning 20 and began wondering what I wanted to do with the next decade of my life, but I'll elaborate on that later. The morning of my birthday was fairly normal. Work has been unusually busy recently despite the fact we're in a drought, when it would make more sense to stay home. Today was a relatively slow day, which enabled me to act a little slower and joke around a bit more. I received plenty of "Happy birthday"s and looks of amazement when I say I'm turning 20 (I look like I'm 18).
Observing that I hadn't yet received any presents for my birthday, one of my coworkers borrowed markers from another coworker and surprised me with the picture of a slice of cake drawn on a napkin. I thought it was really neat, even though the flame was purple.
I get home and tell my girlfriend of six months, Breanna, that I was home so she could come over. She wanted to visit for my birthday and my parents didn't object. They really like her. My mother suggested I take a shower so I did so. Unexpectedly, Breanna arrives while I'm still in the shower. She and my mom begin chatting while my mother braids her hair. I get out and sit in the living room with them. Recently I've begun wearing tank tops (aka muscle shirts or wifebeaters) because I've seen Breanna wear them and with the kind of 100-degree weeks we've been having lately, I needed something that is semi-decent yet ventilated. At first they're quite itchy but now I'm getting used to it. You know how in the movies, there comes that time when the mother busts out the baby pictures and shows them to the girlfriend? That happened today, and I was not embarrassed by it. I was, however, a little displeased with how I looked between the ages of 11-15.
My father comes home from work and my parents leave for Wal-Mart to get me a cake and a present. I've really been wanting a black fedora but alas they could not find them. They come home and reveal they've bought me a 4 gigabyte memory card for my cell phone much to my nerdy delight. Later on, card problems result in me having my mother's 8 gigabyte card! Our dinner is hot dogs and French fries.
It was originally intended that me and Breanna would head to her church for Wednesday afternoon service however her grandma had some family issues that needed to be attended to and she was low on gas, so it was decided Bre would hang out at my place until sundownWhen my mother's ghost-themed shows started coming on at 6, my father went upstairs into their bedroom to rest and watch the stuff he likes. We spent the evening cuddled up, watching TV with my mother, and playing Farkle. I intermittently logged onto the Internet from my phone. I've had some 30 birthday wishes from friends and family today. Shortly after 9 Bre went home. We hugged and kissed in the living room, to which my mother just had to make a tease. Now my parents have officially seen me kiss a young woman.
Back to what I was considering. My twenties are perhaps the most influential years of my life. What I do in the next decade will largely decide what the rest of my life is. I have big plans for myself and in these next few years I'm going to make it or break it. This is the time in which I join the rest of society, bringing to the table my eccentric way of living and looking at things. I asked myself, "What do I want to do by the time I'm 30?" and here are a few ideas:
- Register to vote. I could have this done by next week. I wanted to register when I turned 18 but I never quite got around to it. I want to get this done. I believe that as an American citizen voting is an important right to utilize. This is a nation "of the People, by the People, for the People" (Lincoln, Gettysburg Address) and since the government is chosen by the People, I want to have a say in what our leadership is. My political alignment is strange: I'm socially conservative (I believe the government should uphold traditional, in this case Christian, values) yet economically liberal (I believe the government should have an active role in the economy and helping the needy). I've used the term centrist to describe myself and also socialist to a lesser degree. The true term, as I found out, is "populist." Registering to vote can be done on the Internet in what seems like a few minutes.
- Get my driver's license. Pretty important since I'm moving three hours' worth away in a year for university. Also, get a car.
- Graduate university. With a Bachelor's of Science in computer science.
- Get a job I love. As a computer programmer of some sort.
- Start my own company. If I can't find a satisfying job, I'll make a little Web programming company. It will primarily do browser-based multiplayer games like OGame, World of Warcraft, and so on. I have some game ideas I'd like to write.
- Buy a house for myself. I really don't know where I'm going to live after university, wherever the jobs are. But I want to buy a house for myself and have a stable place to live. Of course, my parents own our current house so in later years I could probably move into this one.
- Get married. I've never considered getting married because that's just not something I can schedule. But as a married coworker told me today, I shouldn't put that off too long. I work with men in their late forties and fifties who never married. I see marriage not as a constraint but rather a blessing.
- $25 dollar check from my grandparents.
- A card from said grandparents.
- A drawn cake on a napkin.
- A card from my grandmother on the other side of the family.
- A card from my girlfriend, who forgot to bring it with.
- A 4 GB memory card from my cell phone, which ended up being an 8 gig card due to technical issues.
- An anime-style picture of me and Bre popping out of a cake drawn by a very talented friend.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Post 28: New Cell Phone Gets Awesomer
About a month ago I bought myself a new cell phone to replace my old but faithful Motorola W376G. My new phone is a Samsung SGH-T404G with service provided by StraightTalk. It is a prepaid phone like its predecessor however it has a bucketload of more features.
The things that really got my attention were the unlimited texting and Internet access. With my old phone I did not text many people very often because I needed to preserve the units that I had. Even then I would routinely exhaust all of them before the 90-day extension period was complete. However now I have the ability to text as much as I want without worrying about running out of minutes. I have gone from texting basically one person to as many as three or four some days.
Unlimited Internet is what also caught me. If it weren't already known about me, I'm a big user of the Internet. I spend several hours a day surfing the Web. So to get this phone with the unlimited Internet access enables me to do this when I'm on the go. I can use my cell phone as an alternate to my home computer. This is good for two reasons: first, we have a limited amount of bandwidth we're allotted each month by the phone company. I want to try and move most of my browsing to my cell phone, which doesn't quite have this restriction. Secondly, whenever I turn on my computer, there is almost always a period when I will lose Internet connection. This affects at least one other computer in the house. Plus the occasional instance when signal is randomly lost for no reason. My cell phone has much stabler connection.
As it turns out, though, there is actually a cap to how much data I can use. Uploading, downloading, and streaming of audio, video, and games is prohibited. This cap is essentially designed so that people do not bog down the wireless network by using so much bandwidth that they slow down the overall network. What does this mean to an epic Internet user to me? Not much as long as I am not constantly surfing the Web and downloading games all the time.
I haven't done much downloading since I bought the phone. I tried a couple games but they would not work right so I deleted those. I also acquired a couple free Daft Punk ringtones. But there is one gem that I've found which has totally changed the way I surf the Web on my phone: Opera Mini. Now mind you, I'm already a devout user of the regular Opera browser. It runs pretty fast and at this point I'm used to it. I knew that Opera had a mobile browser and I decided to check it out.
I was not disappointed. After a quick few minutes of fully adjusting to the interface I was able to start browsing the Web. It's truly amazing how much faster sites load and how they are easier to navigate. The browser seems to automatically detect what sites have mobile versions for people like me and use those. For sites that don't it displays them zoomed out and has a little mouse I can move around and zoom in with. Combined with the landscape mode for displaying things, which works conveniently with my slider phone, it makes things much easier to navigate. I have a list of bookmarks that I can use to quickly find my more frequent destinations. The beauty of Opera Mini that makes it run so fast, as I've found out, is that it compresses the data it received to lower the amount of data transfered, thereby increasing speed. It all runs through a dedicated Opera Mini server which does the magic. Some may see this as a security issue but I don't really mind Opera knowing my surfing habit. It's not like they'll really care anyway. The site claims that Opera Mini uses a mere 10% of the bandwidth of other browsers. I don't know the exact percentage for my phone but I imagine it's way less than what the built-in browser was using.
So here I am, a text messaging, Web surfing phone lover. I pay $45 a month for unlimited features on a nice phone. I've only found three downsides:
The things that really got my attention were the unlimited texting and Internet access. With my old phone I did not text many people very often because I needed to preserve the units that I had. Even then I would routinely exhaust all of them before the 90-day extension period was complete. However now I have the ability to text as much as I want without worrying about running out of minutes. I have gone from texting basically one person to as many as three or four some days.
Unlimited Internet is what also caught me. If it weren't already known about me, I'm a big user of the Internet. I spend several hours a day surfing the Web. So to get this phone with the unlimited Internet access enables me to do this when I'm on the go. I can use my cell phone as an alternate to my home computer. This is good for two reasons: first, we have a limited amount of bandwidth we're allotted each month by the phone company. I want to try and move most of my browsing to my cell phone, which doesn't quite have this restriction. Secondly, whenever I turn on my computer, there is almost always a period when I will lose Internet connection. This affects at least one other computer in the house. Plus the occasional instance when signal is randomly lost for no reason. My cell phone has much stabler connection.
As it turns out, though, there is actually a cap to how much data I can use. Uploading, downloading, and streaming of audio, video, and games is prohibited. This cap is essentially designed so that people do not bog down the wireless network by using so much bandwidth that they slow down the overall network. What does this mean to an epic Internet user to me? Not much as long as I am not constantly surfing the Web and downloading games all the time.
I haven't done much downloading since I bought the phone. I tried a couple games but they would not work right so I deleted those. I also acquired a couple free Daft Punk ringtones. But there is one gem that I've found which has totally changed the way I surf the Web on my phone: Opera Mini. Now mind you, I'm already a devout user of the regular Opera browser. It runs pretty fast and at this point I'm used to it. I knew that Opera had a mobile browser and I decided to check it out.
I was not disappointed. After a quick few minutes of fully adjusting to the interface I was able to start browsing the Web. It's truly amazing how much faster sites load and how they are easier to navigate. The browser seems to automatically detect what sites have mobile versions for people like me and use those. For sites that don't it displays them zoomed out and has a little mouse I can move around and zoom in with. Combined with the landscape mode for displaying things, which works conveniently with my slider phone, it makes things much easier to navigate. I have a list of bookmarks that I can use to quickly find my more frequent destinations. The beauty of Opera Mini that makes it run so fast, as I've found out, is that it compresses the data it received to lower the amount of data transfered, thereby increasing speed. It all runs through a dedicated Opera Mini server which does the magic. Some may see this as a security issue but I don't really mind Opera knowing my surfing habit. It's not like they'll really care anyway. The site claims that Opera Mini uses a mere 10% of the bandwidth of other browsers. I don't know the exact percentage for my phone but I imagine it's way less than what the built-in browser was using.
So here I am, a text messaging, Web surfing phone lover. I pay $45 a month for unlimited features on a nice phone. I've only found three downsides:
- No YouTube. Flash is not supported on my cell phone.
- No Internet radio.
- I can't find a way to get my music from my computer to the cell phone.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Post 27: Kansas, Year Two
This is five days late but hey, it's been two years that I've lived in Kansas! In that time I've found a new game to be addicted to (Minecraft), got my first girlfriend in four years, bought myself a nice new computer, and most recently a new cell phone!
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