Reconsidering Programming

The past month has been a real time of adjustment for me. I've adjusted to the flow of things a lot, but it's come at something of a cost.

My main programming course has been Data and Program Structures. We have learned about several interesting things such as stacks, queues, linked lists, trees, and other things up to now. In theory, these things aren't all that hard for me to comprehend. In practice, I'm struggling insanely to apply them as the assignments require. This is actually quite surprising, because I've never really struggled like this with programming. Sure some things have been difficult to get my brain around, but it just seems the things we are taught in this class get in my brain, but the full concept of the things take a while to really settle with me, more time than we have. I can explain most of the things we have been taught no problem, but applying them in programming assignments just eludes me. Heck, even recursion - which honestly I don't find to be a terribly hard concept - is a pain for me to implement. If it weren't for me visiting a teacher's assistant for every assignment, I probably would have lower grades than I do now. And perhaps most ironically of all, I'm still pulling a 90-something in the class.

It's to the point that I'm actually reconsidering things a little bit. Maybe pure programming isn't the thing for me. I have at least a dash of understanding of several languages: C++, Java, and Python to name a few. I can do basic things, and some advanced stuff, with them. But once you get beyond that, I'm going to look at you with a blank stare.

My personal field of expertise has always been Web programming. If asked what my native programming language was, I'd tell you JavaScript. Which, technically is a scripting language. I can also do HTML, CSS, Ajax, PHP, and some SQL. Put simply, I'm a natural born Web developer. Which is good because it's a technical field, but not so good because these days, ten year olds are learning to make websites. Seriously, web devs are becoming a dime a dozen. That's not to say they're all good at what they do, but website construction is hardly an elite skill these days. Nonetheless, there is money to be made in this profession and I don't see myself being a software developer very much anymore. Oh sure I know Java and could brush up on the languages I've already learned but there's a certain level of technical proficiency that seems to be required to use true programming languages and right now I just don't have that. I'm trying to get that in school but it's such a challenge for me that it almost doesn't make sense. How could I be barely understanding things which are what I proclaim to be my area of expertise? Either this is just part of the process of learning things, and eventually I'll catch up and shine, or it's something that I'm simply not wired for.