Post 22: Obligations

I'm the sort of person who doesn't mind taking on more responsibilities, especially in areas that I enjoy and have skills in. Over the past month or so I've found out that I have way too many responsibilities. I am required to do certain things in certain ways in many areas of life, and it is getting very tiring.

• At work, there are some basic things that I have to do: wash tables, sweep floors, change garbage, sweep parking lot, mop the floor, wash windows, do dishes, and whatever else may be required of me. I typically have 3-4 hour shifts although it's historically been common for me to be around an extra half hour getting work done.
• School, which is now ending, put on me great deals of pressure to get schoolwork done and it would take up several hours of every day.
• Home, I've discovered my parents have some... rather harsh... rules for me to follow. This is actually a blog post in itself but I'll forego it. Then I have my biweekly chores, which aren't that tough.
• In church, I have been known as the one member of youth group and Sunday school (for teens) that would always show up. Always. I go primarily because I know it's in my best interests, but I also sort of see it as my duty to be there to provide that stability. When my youth group has activities or fundraisers, I'm quick to offer assistance. Recently there was a fundraiser where we sold Little Caesar's pizza kits and getting buyers then distributing the kits was a major hassle.
• In my Christian life, I try to live as godly a life as possible. It's not like my good works will earn me favor, it's just that I find it a reasonable act of duty. After all, God did make us so his standards are generally the best to follow. That, and he paid a pretty hefty price (his own Son) to secure my salvation.
• Just now, I discovered how underdeveloped my website (http://shawntc.x10hosting.com) is and I feel compelled to work on it.

I am at that point where I just don't want to have these responsibilities and obligations anymore. It is akin to that rebellious teenager stage, where the 14-year-old is screaming "I'm an adult now! Stop telling me what to do, you don't know anything about my life!" Being told what to do and how to do it is becoming irksome. I have been bound by a lot of things in the past several weeks and I'm in need of liberation. And indeed I have been making efforts to bring about this liberation.

This is not to say that I'm making plans to sneak out in the middle of the night or start skipping out on church. That's not how I roll. Rather, I'm coming to understand that things don't need to be perfect and I can choose to say "No." As in, although my website is incomplete and it's nagging me to work on it, I will not commit myself to that until I have sufficient time. (Although in the past I have considered dedicating an hour each Monday to website development.) I am very punctual when it comes to showing up to church on time, but since it's not absolutely mandatory I be there at 9:30 AM sharp for Sunday school, I won't beat myself up for being a minute or so late. Even though it is highly advisable to live as holy a life as possible, I'm not going to be too concerned that I never ever ever sin. Basically, I'm going to give myself a break and allow myself to be a little bit of a mess up.