Post 10: Kansas: Year One

June 26, 2009: Graduation. I was #3 out of a class of 249. I joked how there was valedictorian, salutatorian, but no fancy name for the person in third place. Trinitorian? Anyway, it was really life changing.

June 27, 2009: I woke up in my practically barren bedroom and met up with my grandma and my extremely irate mother and went to the bus station. For the next 28 hours we changed buses with little sleep until we arrived at our destination.

June 28, 2009: Arrived at a bus terminal somewhere in Oklahoma. Transferred, rode to Coffeyville, Kansas. Transferred, entered Independence, Kansas. Start of a new life. New house. New friends. New job. New city. New college. New everything.

It's just amazing how much I've changed since showing up in this little city a year ago. Just in the past twelve months, so many things have started or ended that it's almost mind blowing.

My relationship with God through Jesus Christ has expanded and deepened and will continue to do so throughout my life. I've recently started putting emphasis on the relationship aspect and am currently learning how to talk to and hear from God. The sooner is much easier than the latter, although there are many ways that God talks to us. That's a whole 'nother blog entry.

I have now been working at McDonald's for over nine months and I must be one of the few people there that really enjoys the work. Granted it does get mundane at times but the nature of the work provides me ample time for introspection and critical thinking. After three months I was given the Outstanding New Employee award and in March I was Employee of the Month.

A few days ago I completed the last piece of work that I needed to do for college. I was ahead of schedule right from the start and finished with six days left before the class ended. It was an online course about something that I've been doing for six years - HTML and related technologies. Nevertheless I did learn quite a bit. I'm enrolled in three courses for the fall semester and the remaining two that I intend on taking are currently under question so I have to wait until that's resolved. It looks like I'll be taken an all-online route for this semester because I ride my bike everywhere and it's a 3.4 mile distance between home and college. 

I'm also heading up the Bible study. Because my style of teaching and speaking was really boring it almost died out right away. The problem comes from the fact that I'm naturally highly logical and I think differently than most of the kids that go to that place. I failed to connect with them at an emotional level. However that's going to change. I have an evangelistic streak plus a knack for retaining knowledge for a reason.

In addition, I have made plenty of friends. When I'm new to any place, I appear to be someone who is slow to open up to others. I realized a couple days ago that this doesn't mean that I'm unsociable, but rather that I take longer to make friends than most people. However, when I do speak I'm very open and answer most questions about myself. I also noticed that when talking to people online, it's not normal - nor easy - for me to pose questions to learn about someone else.

Next in the list is this: I acquired my own Internet access. Up until then I had been going to libraries to use the Internet on their computers, but now I have full access except in situations where the weather goes bad and kills my wireless Internet. I clock in as much as 8 or more hours a day on the Web, limited only by other things that I must do. However it has been a huge asset for me because with the unlimited access, I've been able to work on my website and other yearnings I've had for a long time.

Sometime around March of this year, I began going to the Haven. This place has been a major help for me socially. I'm the sort of person that will stay home if I don't have work or church. It's natural for me to stay alone and on the computer. But loneliness is hard to deal with and upon hearing about the Haven from my youth group friends, I decided that I would go there. I sort of expected a place with white walls and several rooms, like the Town Boys' and Girls' Club that I used to go to, but I found something completely different. It's primarily one huge room with a snack stand, a smaller blue room with costumes and two small bathrooms. The size and shape of the building is irrelevant, however; what matters are the people. Most of them are not Christians, but there is a core of people including the families of the founders who are of the faith and have become my friends. It's been my way of socializing and connecting to others. They have many concerts which I don't attend because it's not my thing, but they have so many other things that it's totally worth it. 

Now for my concluding statements. This has only been my first year. The second one has already begun, and things are guaranteed not to remain the same. Life is rarely static and if it is, don't get used to it because things change faster than the blink of an eye, I can tell you that right now. I can look forward to an ever-increasing growth in my relationship with God, as well as more college education to clog my hours and more time and experiences at work. Hopefully my Bible study will continue to improve to the point where I'm drawing in more people and maybe be able to save a few more souls for the kingdom. I have no clever final sentence so this is the end of it.

Post 8: Less Shawn, More God

The past few days have been pretty intense, spiritually. New things are popping up (I just love all of this new stuff!) and I would like to share them.

For starters, I've come to find just how much of a sinner I still am. There are many problems that I have. I'm a complainer, selfish, glutton, and pervert to name a few. I expect myself to be able to act in a way that promotes God. I have the desire to be an excellent witness. And while my standards for myself aren't perfection (because I can never achieve that) or so I believe, whatever they are I still fall short of them.

I don't act godly because I'm trying to win God's favor. I have been in His favor for 2.5 years, starting the moment I agreed to make Jesus Christ (in Hebrew "Yeshua Messiah", which in English means "Jesus the Anointed One") the leader of my life and acknowledged what he did on the cross. I do these things out of a love and desire to be obedient to God's commands, and also because it is to my benefit.

Yet the problem I have had stems from the fact that I constantly rate how I am doing based upon that standard I have set for myself... and I always fail. The answer came on unintentionally. A friend of mine, whose blog can be found here, calls himself a Zen Christian. At the time, I didn't want to ask him about it directly as I didn't know how personal an explanation would have to be. I came across another blog, and this person had a creative solution: just BE Christian, and don't beat yourself up when you fail. Let the love of Jesus flow out through you.

I like this way of doing things. Then I wondered, "How can I bring my personality to match Jesus'?" See, at work, home and (eventually) school, I'm likely the closest thing that the lost ones around me will see to Jesus. If you remember a post from a while back, I mention my Myers-Briggs personality type: ISTJ. I'm organized, practical and factual. The disciple Thomas (aka the doubter) was ISTJ. Jesus on the other hand was not an ISTJ. It's hard to tell exactly what his type is, but based on observations from the Gospels it seems he is an -NF-, possibly INFP. (I guessed ENFJ.) My interests are probably not what Jesus would have liked. For instance, I play an interstellar combat game, Starfleet Commander, something Jesus wouldn't play. I want to go to college for computer science and am a sci-fi writer - two things unlike Jesus.

My conclusion was that my personality should not be a carbon copy of Christ's. God put in me these differences - a love for sci-fi, technological know-how, a desire to write - for the purpose of spreading the Gospel in whatever unique areas I may find myself in. The reconciliation of personalities comes in how I behave in these areas. The traits of Jesus - holiness, kindness, wisdom, patience, purity - these are the things that are to flow out of me.

Something else I wanted to happen was a greater amount of experiencing God. Faith is nice and I'm sure I have a good amount of it, but I don't want to coast on that all my life. I desire to see God act more in my life, do things that unmistakably point to him. I wrote down some ways:

• Miraculous events - always nice.
• Meditating on the Bible - understanding who God is by how he is recorded in the Bible.
• Worship - this can lead to more obvious, tangible experiences.
• "Hearing" God through thoughts - I have had situations where a thought has entered my mind that has such authority behind it that it can only have come from God.
• Conscience - that little voice in the back of your head is God prompting you.
• Feeling God's presence - not sure how this is done.
• Letting characteristics of God flow through you.
• Observing how God is working in the world and your life - coincidence? Maybe not.

In related, but different news, I am going to be heading up a Bible discussion group at the Christian youth center I attend, the Haven House. It'll be on alternating Thursdays, and it'll have prayer, inspirational real life stories and discussions on Bible topics. This works really well for me because I've always had a bit of a teacher streak in me, in the spiritual sense of the word. I'm good at analyzing things to find out what they are and then relaying that information to others. Now is my chance.

Sorry, I wrote this entry on two separate days. I may not have said everything I originally intended to. If so, then I'll just edit this post and add the info.

Post 7: Ultimate Alien

Out with the old series, in with the new. Really keeps in tune with the Bible quote for this year, which speaks of things being made new.

So here is my opinion on the first episode of Ben 10: Ultimate Alien: My biggest concern was that it would be cliché and formulaic like AF was. However, this episode ("Fame") proved to be otherwise! It began with Ben trying to scare off the reporters, who saw him as both hero and villain and then the group went off to find out the one who made him famous was a little dude with too much free time. Then they found their new flight craft and had the first battle of the series. Overall, well played.

The opening theme is a fresh redesign which features toned down theme music and a slow scroll of all the aliens Ben has access to - probably his current ones and their evolved forms. I think I saw Ripjaws (one of the original ten from the first Ben 10 series) in the opening credits, or something very similar to it.

Overall, excellent job! Dwayne McDuffie broke the mold the show had put itself in! Can't wait for next week's episode.

Post 5: Alien Force Out

Tonight marks the end of another excellent series. Ben 10: Alien Force has aired its last epsiode, simply called "The Final Battle". Even Star Trek writers were more creative with their finale names: "All Good Things...", "These Are The Voyages...", "Endgame" and "What You Leave Behind". (Although for the original series, it ended with "Turnabout Intruder" because the cancellation of the series was unexpected.)

Overall, the episode did fairly well. The colors appeared to be duller than usual which gave for an edgy series finale look. It had a striking resemblance to the finale for season 2 and the premiere of season 3. "War of the Worlds" in season 2 saw the bringing together of the heroes found throughout the season to an epic battle. In "The Final Battle", two of Ben's strongest opponents joined forces to kill Ben. Also in "War of the Worlds", there was almost a kiss scene with Ben and Julie, until they realizes how many people were watching them. Fast forward to "The Final Battle" and there is a brief moment of mushiness between Gwen and a restored Kevin. Although it must have been weird since for the latter half of the episode he was only in his underwear. Then the season comes full circle. It opened with Ben v. Vilgax and ended with Ben v. Vilgax and once again Ben kicked butt.

Now, this isn't the end of Ben Tennyson's TV career. The new series is set to air on April 23rd. For the longest time it was believed to be called Ben 10: Evolution. But that was only a working title. The real name of it is going to be Ben 10: Ultimate Alien. I've read a little about what going to be in B10UA from WikiPedia. My main concern, however, is what the aliens are going to look like. There's all sorts of rumors and plenty of what seem to be fakes about the new lineup, ranging from completely new designs to something called "Ultimate Aliens", which are just the aliens Ben had at the end of B10AF souped up. This is rather disappointing for me. I wanted to see ten new aliens, not the old ones on steroids!

At the end of "War of the Worlds", it ended with Ben lamenting over how he didn't "recognize any of these [new aliens]". One new form was actually added after that battle: Lodestar, which replaced the virtually useless Alien X. (Rath was an accidental transformation, and Nanomech didn't show up until Alien Swarm). I'm all for keeping good things going but guys, I wanted to see something new. Actually, I wanted to see ten things new.

Oh, and if you're interested in seeing what familiar plot devices and almost cliche conventions are found in the TV series, I.E. Nazi-like Highbreed (for which I must invoke Godwin's Law upon myself), or Julie the love interest, or the moronic but relatable main character, check out this: Ben 10: Alien Force @ TV Tropes

Post 4: Everything is Made New!

2 Corinthians 5:17
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

In the latter half of 2009, my whole life pretty much changed forever. I graduated high school, the place where I began the journey of fulfilling what I want to be for the rest of my life. I left my hometown, where I lived for 15 of my then 17 years, for a city 1/30th the size of it. I found a new church family and new little brothers and sisters in the faith. I got a job working at McDonalds where everyone seems to agree that I'm a pretty darn good worker - rather quiet, but nevertheless amiable. Heck, I even got Internet.

That is why I'm calling the theme for 2010 Everything is Made New. My life is vastly different from how it was New Years 2009. I have changed and matured so much since then. This year will largely be about growing into my new life, including when I begin college in the fall.