Post 26: Re-Examing My Beliefs?

Over the past three and a half years I have followed the beliefs of the Pentecostal denomination of Christianity. Pentecostals emphasize the supernatural side of the faith, rooting this in the events of Pentecost as laid out in Acts 2. However in the past year I've also begun learning the beliefs of the Southern Baptist denomination which doesn't quite stress supernatural events as much as the fact that one is saved by faith. I've also dabbled in Catholic and Messianic Jewish views. This has given me several different perspectives on what the Bible teaches.

What I'm thinking I may do some day is undergo personal study to figure out what seems most logical about things such as the Rapture, the Trinity, whether or not God is still giving out spiritual gifts like speaking in tongues and prophesy like He did in the beginning, what the meaning behind speaking in tongues is and the ways it ought to be used, the end times and how Revelation plays out, and other things that I could think of. A friend of mine is Christian, very intelligent, very faithful, yet he seems to deviate from the standard accepted believes of Protestants in a couple areas. I feel I should likewise examine for myself what the Bible says. I tend to interpret the Bible in a literal sense where possible so that alone could make me differ from Pentecostal teachings. I will need to do this some time in the future. Right now, I'm too busy with college.

Post 23: Survived that One!

Yes, another blog entry about the supposed 21 May Rapture. Look at a different blog entry on here if you'd rather not read this. :D

I had read something about this prediction several months beforehand but I gave little attention to it. It wasn't until the day before the predicted Rapture was to take place that CNN and possibly other news outlets started talking about it. It was annoying that they were saying it was "the end of the world," when it wasn't. According to Mr. Camping's theory, the end of the world was to be 5 months later.

Although I figured that it wouldn't take place, a little bit of me felt a little alerted. It was a good kick in the rear that Jesus's return could happen at any time. The Rapture is a doctrine of Protestant Christianity stating that Jesus will return to the Earth and take up all true Christians with him in Heaven. This idea was developed in the late 1700s and early 1800s. Due to this rather recent inception of the doctrine, I don't totally believe it anymore. I've only done a little research about it, but the Scriptures that support it could easily be used to describe the Second Coming at the end of the seven-year Tribulation. In fact, in the book of the prophet Isaiah there is a mention of it that mixes it with the Second Coming. Roman Catholics, who have been around for much longer than Protestants, don't believe in any sort of Rapture.

Another thing: the Rapture is said to be something so major that everyone in the world will know when it's happening and it will be immediate. But Mr. Camping said it would happen at 6 PM of each timezone. If that were so, it would give people in later timezones warning that they were going to be Raptured since I'm sure news outlets would announce the major disasters taking place in Raptured nations. So much for "like a thief in the night."

I was watching a program on television a few weeks ago called "Discovering the Jewish Jesus." The host, Rabbi K. A. Schneider, is a Messianic Jew which means he maintains Jewish traditions but observes the New Covenant (i.e., saved by faith and not by observing Mosaic Law). His show often shows how the Old and New Testaments are analogous, with parts of the OT prophesying and foreshadowing what would happen in the NT. He showed an interesting correlation between Moses leading the Hebrews out of Egypt and the End Times. Exodus 5-14 show a very stubborn Pharaoh refusing to release the Hebrews, who had become the slaves of the society. Thus in order to persuade the leader, God sent down ten plagues upon Egypt until finally the Hebrews were allowed out.

The Hebrews were still present in the nation of Egypt while the plagues were taking place. According to Rabbi Schneider, this event is representative of what the End Times will be like. As best as I can recall, he implicitly agrees with the Catholic notion of no Rapture. The Hebrews weren't removed from Egypt until after the plagues were finished. Likewise, the Christians and Messianic Jews of the last days will not be taken into Heaven until Christ's Second Coming.

I'm sure that there were people who heard about the 21 May Rapture and became believers or otherwise rededicated their lives to Christ. I imagine some of them were disappointed when it did not occur and have already abandoned that faith. Non-believers have doubtlessly mocked the event the whole time and now, thanks to this farce of a prophesy, they are now even more stubbornly hardened against God. I came across this amusing comment on the Interwebs: "Mr. Camping should be thankful that he lives under the New Testament economy. Under the OT economy and Torah law, he’d of found himself under a big pile of rocks, suffering the fate of a false prophet." (Source here.)

Despite all of this, I was enlightened to the impending return of Christ. I've long held that my life is one big bet: that Christianity is true and Jesus is coming soon. If it's false, then oh well. I won't know until I'm dead, and since I won't be conscious due to lack of an afterlife I won't regret it. If I'm right then I lucked out big time. I personally believe that the Second Coming is really soon. I'm a couple months away from being 20, and I feel I may not make it to 40 before Jesus comes again. So while I still have the time, I need to get myself into gear and try to strengthen my faith and relationship with God.

On a related note, I came across a website showing statistical analysis of prophesies listing when the Rapture and Second Coming could take place. Don Koenig admits that his predictions may be off by millenia but the numbers are fascinating and they show that things are about to get very serious very soon.

Post 10: Kansas: Year One

June 26, 2009: Graduation. I was #3 out of a class of 249. I joked how there was valedictorian, salutatorian, but no fancy name for the person in third place. Trinitorian? Anyway, it was really life changing.

June 27, 2009: I woke up in my practically barren bedroom and met up with my grandma and my extremely irate mother and went to the bus station. For the next 28 hours we changed buses with little sleep until we arrived at our destination.

June 28, 2009: Arrived at a bus terminal somewhere in Oklahoma. Transferred, rode to Coffeyville, Kansas. Transferred, entered Independence, Kansas. Start of a new life. New house. New friends. New job. New city. New college. New everything.

It's just amazing how much I've changed since showing up in this little city a year ago. Just in the past twelve months, so many things have started or ended that it's almost mind blowing.

My relationship with God through Jesus Christ has expanded and deepened and will continue to do so throughout my life. I've recently started putting emphasis on the relationship aspect and am currently learning how to talk to and hear from God. The sooner is much easier than the latter, although there are many ways that God talks to us. That's a whole 'nother blog entry.

I have now been working at McDonald's for over nine months and I must be one of the few people there that really enjoys the work. Granted it does get mundane at times but the nature of the work provides me ample time for introspection and critical thinking. After three months I was given the Outstanding New Employee award and in March I was Employee of the Month.

A few days ago I completed the last piece of work that I needed to do for college. I was ahead of schedule right from the start and finished with six days left before the class ended. It was an online course about something that I've been doing for six years - HTML and related technologies. Nevertheless I did learn quite a bit. I'm enrolled in three courses for the fall semester and the remaining two that I intend on taking are currently under question so I have to wait until that's resolved. It looks like I'll be taken an all-online route for this semester because I ride my bike everywhere and it's a 3.4 mile distance between home and college. 

I'm also heading up the Bible study. Because my style of teaching and speaking was really boring it almost died out right away. The problem comes from the fact that I'm naturally highly logical and I think differently than most of the kids that go to that place. I failed to connect with them at an emotional level. However that's going to change. I have an evangelistic streak plus a knack for retaining knowledge for a reason.

In addition, I have made plenty of friends. When I'm new to any place, I appear to be someone who is slow to open up to others. I realized a couple days ago that this doesn't mean that I'm unsociable, but rather that I take longer to make friends than most people. However, when I do speak I'm very open and answer most questions about myself. I also noticed that when talking to people online, it's not normal - nor easy - for me to pose questions to learn about someone else.

Next in the list is this: I acquired my own Internet access. Up until then I had been going to libraries to use the Internet on their computers, but now I have full access except in situations where the weather goes bad and kills my wireless Internet. I clock in as much as 8 or more hours a day on the Web, limited only by other things that I must do. However it has been a huge asset for me because with the unlimited access, I've been able to work on my website and other yearnings I've had for a long time.

Sometime around March of this year, I began going to the Haven. This place has been a major help for me socially. I'm the sort of person that will stay home if I don't have work or church. It's natural for me to stay alone and on the computer. But loneliness is hard to deal with and upon hearing about the Haven from my youth group friends, I decided that I would go there. I sort of expected a place with white walls and several rooms, like the Town Boys' and Girls' Club that I used to go to, but I found something completely different. It's primarily one huge room with a snack stand, a smaller blue room with costumes and two small bathrooms. The size and shape of the building is irrelevant, however; what matters are the people. Most of them are not Christians, but there is a core of people including the families of the founders who are of the faith and have become my friends. It's been my way of socializing and connecting to others. They have many concerts which I don't attend because it's not my thing, but they have so many other things that it's totally worth it. 

Now for my concluding statements. This has only been my first year. The second one has already begun, and things are guaranteed not to remain the same. Life is rarely static and if it is, don't get used to it because things change faster than the blink of an eye, I can tell you that right now. I can look forward to an ever-increasing growth in my relationship with God, as well as more college education to clog my hours and more time and experiences at work. Hopefully my Bible study will continue to improve to the point where I'm drawing in more people and maybe be able to save a few more souls for the kingdom. I have no clever final sentence so this is the end of it.

Post 8: Less Shawn, More God

The past few days have been pretty intense, spiritually. New things are popping up (I just love all of this new stuff!) and I would like to share them.

For starters, I've come to find just how much of a sinner I still am. There are many problems that I have. I'm a complainer, selfish, glutton, and pervert to name a few. I expect myself to be able to act in a way that promotes God. I have the desire to be an excellent witness. And while my standards for myself aren't perfection (because I can never achieve that) or so I believe, whatever they are I still fall short of them.

I don't act godly because I'm trying to win God's favor. I have been in His favor for 2.5 years, starting the moment I agreed to make Jesus Christ (in Hebrew "Yeshua Messiah", which in English means "Jesus the Anointed One") the leader of my life and acknowledged what he did on the cross. I do these things out of a love and desire to be obedient to God's commands, and also because it is to my benefit.

Yet the problem I have had stems from the fact that I constantly rate how I am doing based upon that standard I have set for myself... and I always fail. The answer came on unintentionally. A friend of mine, whose blog can be found here, calls himself a Zen Christian. At the time, I didn't want to ask him about it directly as I didn't know how personal an explanation would have to be. I came across another blog, and this person had a creative solution: just BE Christian, and don't beat yourself up when you fail. Let the love of Jesus flow out through you.

I like this way of doing things. Then I wondered, "How can I bring my personality to match Jesus'?" See, at work, home and (eventually) school, I'm likely the closest thing that the lost ones around me will see to Jesus. If you remember a post from a while back, I mention my Myers-Briggs personality type: ISTJ. I'm organized, practical and factual. The disciple Thomas (aka the doubter) was ISTJ. Jesus on the other hand was not an ISTJ. It's hard to tell exactly what his type is, but based on observations from the Gospels it seems he is an -NF-, possibly INFP. (I guessed ENFJ.) My interests are probably not what Jesus would have liked. For instance, I play an interstellar combat game, Starfleet Commander, something Jesus wouldn't play. I want to go to college for computer science and am a sci-fi writer - two things unlike Jesus.

My conclusion was that my personality should not be a carbon copy of Christ's. God put in me these differences - a love for sci-fi, technological know-how, a desire to write - for the purpose of spreading the Gospel in whatever unique areas I may find myself in. The reconciliation of personalities comes in how I behave in these areas. The traits of Jesus - holiness, kindness, wisdom, patience, purity - these are the things that are to flow out of me.

Something else I wanted to happen was a greater amount of experiencing God. Faith is nice and I'm sure I have a good amount of it, but I don't want to coast on that all my life. I desire to see God act more in my life, do things that unmistakably point to him. I wrote down some ways:

• Miraculous events - always nice.
• Meditating on the Bible - understanding who God is by how he is recorded in the Bible.
• Worship - this can lead to more obvious, tangible experiences.
• "Hearing" God through thoughts - I have had situations where a thought has entered my mind that has such authority behind it that it can only have come from God.
• Conscience - that little voice in the back of your head is God prompting you.
• Feeling God's presence - not sure how this is done.
• Letting characteristics of God flow through you.
• Observing how God is working in the world and your life - coincidence? Maybe not.

In related, but different news, I am going to be heading up a Bible discussion group at the Christian youth center I attend, the Haven House. It'll be on alternating Thursdays, and it'll have prayer, inspirational real life stories and discussions on Bible topics. This works really well for me because I've always had a bit of a teacher streak in me, in the spiritual sense of the word. I'm good at analyzing things to find out what they are and then relaying that information to others. Now is my chance.

Sorry, I wrote this entry on two separate days. I may not have said everything I originally intended to. If so, then I'll just edit this post and add the info.

Post 6: Wisdom from a Cemetery, and Other Places

THEME: Death is not the end, but what you do now will affect you later.

A few days ago my parents took me, a family friend and her son 14 miles south of here to a cemetery in Coffeyville. They were looking at the graves of those who died as a result of a bank robbery decades, maybe a century ago when Kansas was still considered the wild wild west. And while they were enjoying the famous landmarks (which I didn't personally find to be all that exciting, but interesting nonetheless), my thinking was elsewhere.

As I often do when considering things, I look at the world from an atheist/agnostic viewpoint. I considered death and its finality. I imagined the tombstone of a friend of mine and what it might look like. Then I pictured my mother's, and my father's and finally my own.

"That's it?" I asked myself. We work our butts off for years on end and then we die and none of it matters. What good does it do that I enjoyed my pizza or that I was a good computer programmer? All I was doing is trying to accumulate enough money so I could live an easy life. But then I would die and that would be the end of it. In one instant, as my body shut down, everything I had done becomes irrelevant. Nothing matters. Nothing.

"Meaningless! Meaningless! Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless!"

For some reason I always wind up at that verse. Ever since I moved to Kansas, that statement has found a strong truthfulness in my life. I labored for thirteen years in school - for what? The moment high school graduation ended, the number of A's I got on those tests became pointless. I could have had a total average that was 10-15 points lower than what I got and most colleges still would have accepted me. And in my daily battle with slight gluttony, I frequently think, "Why bother eating extra? I'm just going to get hungry again."

But I know that death isn't the end for me. There is a meaning for what I do. What I do now in this life won't just affect me in later years but also into eternity. I'm not working 17+ hours a week for no reason. I don't attend church every Sunday just to keep appearances up. There is a reason I've committed myself to higher education and why I want so badly to effectively use every second I have left on this earth and pour so much energy into my passions and the people I love.

When I was younger, death scared me. Now I'm not afraid. (Not to sound suicidal but I gladly await death, when I can get into Heaven and be happy forever.) Still, I'm often aware of my own mortality and the fact that yes I will one day die. I want to live for God and enjoy myself in the time that remains for me. Death is my motivator. Knowing that eventually I won't be able to do anything here in this life makes me work all the more harder.

Another thing this makes me realize is that what I do now will affect me in my later years, just as Solomon discovered. He led a wordly, materialistic life and in his final ones he found himself to be unsatisfied with life. He felt as though that time was wasted. As as youngster, I didn't like to brush my teeth. I put the blame on the way toothpaste tasted. Now I brush daily, but those years of not caring for them have become clear. My teeth are stained and somewhat sensitive. I don't smile with teeth showing for that reason. I know that what I do with money now is going to decide how I handle it when I'm older. Every second of the now has influence on the later.

So why, oh why, don't I let this fact really get into me and change how I act? There are times when it does, when I choose to look past the immediate and focus on the long-run. How am I going to come out given my current habits? I'm hooked on a game called Starfleet Commander and I plan on playing it for a long time, although in a few years it will probably lose the popularity it has and wither out of existence. So why continue to play it now?

Because it's fun! OK look, what are the most important things in my life right now? My faith, my work, and getting into college. But I have a whole lot of free time during the week and focusing exclusively on those three things would be downright exhausting. I play this game because it entertains me, it allows me to think and deal with real people. Yes eventually the game will lose steam and die out. But until then, I'm going to try and make it to the #1 position on its leaderboard!

Post 1: Encounter at Blogspot

I must admit, I've never had a blog before. The closest thing to one is the cheap blog-like thing that you get with your MySpace page but really, who uses those? I know I don't. Heck, I rarely do much on MySpace nowadays - I, like most people, have switched over to the more mature magic that is Facebook.

What in the world is a blog anyway? According to the New York Times Almanac 2007, a blog is "A diarylike Web site, usually containing the personal thoughts of the site's owner as well as links to other sites of interest." (p.816). The term "blog" is actually the shortened form of "weblog" - literally, an online journal. So this, then, is my online journal. Let me introduce myself.

Hello! My name is Shawn, but many people refer to me by my nickname Dexter. I got that in the seventh grade when a girl named Brittany noticed that I had a striking resemblance to Dexter from "Dexter's Laboratory". I was short, wore glasses and as she later found out, extremely intelligent. I have kept the nickname going for six years so far, having a t-shirt made by someone who was rather obliged to give me some kind of gift. Online, I usually go by the name Youssarian. This comes from the name of the socially troubled meerkat from "Meerkat Manor", which in turn comes from the main character of the book "Catch-22"!

The first thing you need to know is that I am a devout Christian. In late 2007 I was watching a show on History Channel that explained all the prophecies that point to the 2012 Apocolypse. There were too many to be a coincidence. When people hear Apocolypse, they think the Christian Apocolypse as indicated in the book of Revelation. I was one of those people and it converted me. Way to go History Channel! I also had a spontaneous healing of a sore throat courtesy of a Christian friend's prayers, some time before that.

A lot of people call themselves Christian because they simply believe in God. But that is not enough! I'll tell you this right now, Satan and his demons believe in God, but are they Heaven-bound? No they are not! True Christian faith requires an active trust and working based on your faith. And that is what I do. I read my Bible every day, I pray, I attend church Sunday morning and youth group Sunday evening, and on occasion I give offerings. I don't have a job so I can't really tithe. Besides all that, my personality has been radically changed. Things like perversion and lust, which in the past I enjoyed, now are detestable to me. Things I used to say and do, I no longer do. Even the way I look at the world is different. I used to be pro-abortion, for instance, but now I am against it. Indeed, in the past I was quite liberal, but over the past many months I have shifted to a conservative mindset.

Around July/August of 2008, I began attending Victory Assembly of God in Buffalo, New York. I became a regular attendee of the services and of the youth group. I was baptized in water there, on my last day there. After graduating high school as the third-smartest person in the graduating class, I moved to Independence, Kansas and two weeks later began attending First Assembly of God Church.

The Assemblies of God are a subdivision of the Pentecostal denomination. As such, we translate the Bible more literally than others and emphasize the power of the Holy Spirit, the third Person of the Holy Trinity. Thus we are the ones with the most of baptism in the Holy Spirit and speaking in tongues.

Alright, what else do you need to know? My favorite show is "Star Trek: The Next Generation" as well as all the other series of the Star Trek saga, except probably "Star Trek: Enterprise". Yess I know, nerdy! Ever since I was young, though, the show and the movies have mesmerized me with the positive outlook as to how the world can be, not to mention the incredible technology in it. My favorites out of the eleven are "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home", "Star Trek V: The Final Frontier" and "Star Trek: Nemesis". My absolute least favorite is "Star Trek: The Motion Picture". I have not yet seen the 2009 remake, simply titled "Star Trek", but I plan on it!

After that, my favorite show is "Meerkat Manor". This show has survived four seasons, with it being renamed "Meerkat Manor: The Next Generation". For the first three seasons it centered around the lives of a group of desert mammals called suricates or meerkats. The particular group was called the Whiskers, led by their dominant female named Flower. Despite her name she was tough as nails. A good nickname for her would have been the Iron Lady. Her mate and dominant male was Zaphod. These two led the group through foraging for food, dealing with unruly daughters and encountering opposing groups (at first Lazuli, then Commandos and Zappa). Towards the end of season three, Flower died and her oldest daugher Rocket Dog took charge. The group dwindled in size under Rocket Dog's command. There is probably going to be no season five, because just about all of the original meerkats have died!

My current obsession is a show on Discovery Channel, "The Colony". It's an experiment where ten people are living in a post-nuclear war world in southern Los Angeles, and they're given various things to try. It's pretty cool, and now that the people are well into the project (as of writing this, that is), it's become their reality. There are cameramen and off-camera medic teams, which makes it less life-like, but nevertheless cool.

You may notice that almost all of my posts will have a title. It's little more than a novelty, really, just a basic summary of the contents. This one's title is Encounter at Blogspot. This is a variation of the title of the two-part first episode of "Star Trek: The Next Generation", Encounter at Farpoint.

Living up to the part where a blog links to other sites of interest, here are some useful ones:

http://www.google.com - Google

http://www.dreamviews.com - Dream Views, a website dedicated to the act of lucid dreaming

http://www.bibleforums.org/forum - The Bible Forum which I belong to. Very helpful for my walk in faith

http://www.freewebs.com/shawnc1991 - My personal website, which links to various things I have: Dext3r Productions, my currently discontinued graphing calculator programming hobby; Dext3r Ministries, my evangelical project; a link to my written works; and more that I can't think of.

That's my introductory post. My next one will really serve the purpose of a weblog: journaling. Until then, God bless and happy digging.