Post 9: Readers Do Me a Favor

Nearly 450,000 visits to my blog! WOW! Hey if you are a regular visitor to this blog or just going through, could you spare a minute and post a comment on this entry? I'm very curious to see how many actually take the time to read. Just say "hi" or whatever in the comment. Thanks!

Post 8: Less Shawn, More God

The past few days have been pretty intense, spiritually. New things are popping up (I just love all of this new stuff!) and I would like to share them.

For starters, I've come to find just how much of a sinner I still am. There are many problems that I have. I'm a complainer, selfish, glutton, and pervert to name a few. I expect myself to be able to act in a way that promotes God. I have the desire to be an excellent witness. And while my standards for myself aren't perfection (because I can never achieve that) or so I believe, whatever they are I still fall short of them.

I don't act godly because I'm trying to win God's favor. I have been in His favor for 2.5 years, starting the moment I agreed to make Jesus Christ (in Hebrew "Yeshua Messiah", which in English means "Jesus the Anointed One") the leader of my life and acknowledged what he did on the cross. I do these things out of a love and desire to be obedient to God's commands, and also because it is to my benefit.

Yet the problem I have had stems from the fact that I constantly rate how I am doing based upon that standard I have set for myself... and I always fail. The answer came on unintentionally. A friend of mine, whose blog can be found here, calls himself a Zen Christian. At the time, I didn't want to ask him about it directly as I didn't know how personal an explanation would have to be. I came across another blog, and this person had a creative solution: just BE Christian, and don't beat yourself up when you fail. Let the love of Jesus flow out through you.

I like this way of doing things. Then I wondered, "How can I bring my personality to match Jesus'?" See, at work, home and (eventually) school, I'm likely the closest thing that the lost ones around me will see to Jesus. If you remember a post from a while back, I mention my Myers-Briggs personality type: ISTJ. I'm organized, practical and factual. The disciple Thomas (aka the doubter) was ISTJ. Jesus on the other hand was not an ISTJ. It's hard to tell exactly what his type is, but based on observations from the Gospels it seems he is an -NF-, possibly INFP. (I guessed ENFJ.) My interests are probably not what Jesus would have liked. For instance, I play an interstellar combat game, Starfleet Commander, something Jesus wouldn't play. I want to go to college for computer science and am a sci-fi writer - two things unlike Jesus.

My conclusion was that my personality should not be a carbon copy of Christ's. God put in me these differences - a love for sci-fi, technological know-how, a desire to write - for the purpose of spreading the Gospel in whatever unique areas I may find myself in. The reconciliation of personalities comes in how I behave in these areas. The traits of Jesus - holiness, kindness, wisdom, patience, purity - these are the things that are to flow out of me.

Something else I wanted to happen was a greater amount of experiencing God. Faith is nice and I'm sure I have a good amount of it, but I don't want to coast on that all my life. I desire to see God act more in my life, do things that unmistakably point to him. I wrote down some ways:

• Miraculous events - always nice.
• Meditating on the Bible - understanding who God is by how he is recorded in the Bible.
• Worship - this can lead to more obvious, tangible experiences.
• "Hearing" God through thoughts - I have had situations where a thought has entered my mind that has such authority behind it that it can only have come from God.
• Conscience - that little voice in the back of your head is God prompting you.
• Feeling God's presence - not sure how this is done.
• Letting characteristics of God flow through you.
• Observing how God is working in the world and your life - coincidence? Maybe not.

In related, but different news, I am going to be heading up a Bible discussion group at the Christian youth center I attend, the Haven House. It'll be on alternating Thursdays, and it'll have prayer, inspirational real life stories and discussions on Bible topics. This works really well for me because I've always had a bit of a teacher streak in me, in the spiritual sense of the word. I'm good at analyzing things to find out what they are and then relaying that information to others. Now is my chance.

Sorry, I wrote this entry on two separate days. I may not have said everything I originally intended to. If so, then I'll just edit this post and add the info.

Post 7: Ultimate Alien

Out with the old series, in with the new. Really keeps in tune with the Bible quote for this year, which speaks of things being made new.

So here is my opinion on the first episode of Ben 10: Ultimate Alien: My biggest concern was that it would be cliché and formulaic like AF was. However, this episode ("Fame") proved to be otherwise! It began with Ben trying to scare off the reporters, who saw him as both hero and villain and then the group went off to find out the one who made him famous was a little dude with too much free time. Then they found their new flight craft and had the first battle of the series. Overall, well played.

The opening theme is a fresh redesign which features toned down theme music and a slow scroll of all the aliens Ben has access to - probably his current ones and their evolved forms. I think I saw Ripjaws (one of the original ten from the first Ben 10 series) in the opening credits, or something very similar to it.

Overall, excellent job! Dwayne McDuffie broke the mold the show had put itself in! Can't wait for next week's episode.

Post 6: Wisdom from a Cemetery, and Other Places

THEME: Death is not the end, but what you do now will affect you later.

A few days ago my parents took me, a family friend and her son 14 miles south of here to a cemetery in Coffeyville. They were looking at the graves of those who died as a result of a bank robbery decades, maybe a century ago when Kansas was still considered the wild wild west. And while they were enjoying the famous landmarks (which I didn't personally find to be all that exciting, but interesting nonetheless), my thinking was elsewhere.

As I often do when considering things, I look at the world from an atheist/agnostic viewpoint. I considered death and its finality. I imagined the tombstone of a friend of mine and what it might look like. Then I pictured my mother's, and my father's and finally my own.

"That's it?" I asked myself. We work our butts off for years on end and then we die and none of it matters. What good does it do that I enjoyed my pizza or that I was a good computer programmer? All I was doing is trying to accumulate enough money so I could live an easy life. But then I would die and that would be the end of it. In one instant, as my body shut down, everything I had done becomes irrelevant. Nothing matters. Nothing.

"Meaningless! Meaningless! Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless!"

For some reason I always wind up at that verse. Ever since I moved to Kansas, that statement has found a strong truthfulness in my life. I labored for thirteen years in school - for what? The moment high school graduation ended, the number of A's I got on those tests became pointless. I could have had a total average that was 10-15 points lower than what I got and most colleges still would have accepted me. And in my daily battle with slight gluttony, I frequently think, "Why bother eating extra? I'm just going to get hungry again."

But I know that death isn't the end for me. There is a meaning for what I do. What I do now in this life won't just affect me in later years but also into eternity. I'm not working 17+ hours a week for no reason. I don't attend church every Sunday just to keep appearances up. There is a reason I've committed myself to higher education and why I want so badly to effectively use every second I have left on this earth and pour so much energy into my passions and the people I love.

When I was younger, death scared me. Now I'm not afraid. (Not to sound suicidal but I gladly await death, when I can get into Heaven and be happy forever.) Still, I'm often aware of my own mortality and the fact that yes I will one day die. I want to live for God and enjoy myself in the time that remains for me. Death is my motivator. Knowing that eventually I won't be able to do anything here in this life makes me work all the more harder.

Another thing this makes me realize is that what I do now will affect me in my later years, just as Solomon discovered. He led a wordly, materialistic life and in his final ones he found himself to be unsatisfied with life. He felt as though that time was wasted. As as youngster, I didn't like to brush my teeth. I put the blame on the way toothpaste tasted. Now I brush daily, but those years of not caring for them have become clear. My teeth are stained and somewhat sensitive. I don't smile with teeth showing for that reason. I know that what I do with money now is going to decide how I handle it when I'm older. Every second of the now has influence on the later.

So why, oh why, don't I let this fact really get into me and change how I act? There are times when it does, when I choose to look past the immediate and focus on the long-run. How am I going to come out given my current habits? I'm hooked on a game called Starfleet Commander and I plan on playing it for a long time, although in a few years it will probably lose the popularity it has and wither out of existence. So why continue to play it now?

Because it's fun! OK look, what are the most important things in my life right now? My faith, my work, and getting into college. But I have a whole lot of free time during the week and focusing exclusively on those three things would be downright exhausting. I play this game because it entertains me, it allows me to think and deal with real people. Yes eventually the game will lose steam and die out. But until then, I'm going to try and make it to the #1 position on its leaderboard!

Post 5: Alien Force Out

Tonight marks the end of another excellent series. Ben 10: Alien Force has aired its last epsiode, simply called "The Final Battle". Even Star Trek writers were more creative with their finale names: "All Good Things...", "These Are The Voyages...", "Endgame" and "What You Leave Behind". (Although for the original series, it ended with "Turnabout Intruder" because the cancellation of the series was unexpected.)

Overall, the episode did fairly well. The colors appeared to be duller than usual which gave for an edgy series finale look. It had a striking resemblance to the finale for season 2 and the premiere of season 3. "War of the Worlds" in season 2 saw the bringing together of the heroes found throughout the season to an epic battle. In "The Final Battle", two of Ben's strongest opponents joined forces to kill Ben. Also in "War of the Worlds", there was almost a kiss scene with Ben and Julie, until they realizes how many people were watching them. Fast forward to "The Final Battle" and there is a brief moment of mushiness between Gwen and a restored Kevin. Although it must have been weird since for the latter half of the episode he was only in his underwear. Then the season comes full circle. It opened with Ben v. Vilgax and ended with Ben v. Vilgax and once again Ben kicked butt.

Now, this isn't the end of Ben Tennyson's TV career. The new series is set to air on April 23rd. For the longest time it was believed to be called Ben 10: Evolution. But that was only a working title. The real name of it is going to be Ben 10: Ultimate Alien. I've read a little about what going to be in B10UA from WikiPedia. My main concern, however, is what the aliens are going to look like. There's all sorts of rumors and plenty of what seem to be fakes about the new lineup, ranging from completely new designs to something called "Ultimate Aliens", which are just the aliens Ben had at the end of B10AF souped up. This is rather disappointing for me. I wanted to see ten new aliens, not the old ones on steroids!

At the end of "War of the Worlds", it ended with Ben lamenting over how he didn't "recognize any of these [new aliens]". One new form was actually added after that battle: Lodestar, which replaced the virtually useless Alien X. (Rath was an accidental transformation, and Nanomech didn't show up until Alien Swarm). I'm all for keeping good things going but guys, I wanted to see something new. Actually, I wanted to see ten things new.

Oh, and if you're interested in seeing what familiar plot devices and almost cliche conventions are found in the TV series, I.E. Nazi-like Highbreed (for which I must invoke Godwin's Law upon myself), or Julie the love interest, or the moronic but relatable main character, check out this: Ben 10: Alien Force @ TV Tropes

Post 4: Everything is Made New!

2 Corinthians 5:17
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

In the latter half of 2009, my whole life pretty much changed forever. I graduated high school, the place where I began the journey of fulfilling what I want to be for the rest of my life. I left my hometown, where I lived for 15 of my then 17 years, for a city 1/30th the size of it. I found a new church family and new little brothers and sisters in the faith. I got a job working at McDonalds where everyone seems to agree that I'm a pretty darn good worker - rather quiet, but nevertheless amiable. Heck, I even got Internet.

That is why I'm calling the theme for 2010 Everything is Made New. My life is vastly different from how it was New Years 2009. I have changed and matured so much since then. This year will largely be about growing into my new life, including when I begin college in the fall.

Post 3: A New Leaf in an Old Year

This post will mostly contain updates that I deem worthy of putting in the weblog. I know it's been a few months since I've added anything, and there have been several changes during that time.

First of all I should mention that I got a job, and I've had it for nearly three months at this point. I work at McDonalds as a maintenance worker - or at least, that is the title I use to describe it. My shift comes during the lunch hour. In the past it was quite variable as to what days I would be on and off, recently the top manager made an official schedule that I would follow regardless of what was printed on the paper. Tuesday through Saturday I would work from 11 to whenever, usually 3, and I'd have the other two days off. This works perfect for me because of my ISTJ personality, which means I love having things organized and scheduled out. Many would feel dead having everything timed out to the last minute, but I feel dead if it's not like that.

McDonalds has its quirks, good and bad. The good part is the relative simplicity of the work. I sweep the floors almost neurotically, I wipe down the tables, I change the garbage bags in the lobby when they get full, and I also keep the windows clean, take trays to the back when they get piled high enough, and maintain the bathrooms. It also provides me with a stable income, as there aren't too many other people who would do this job. Even though I'm only getting $7.25 an hour, it still means a $200+ paycheck every other Tuesday. Hardly enough to sustain an independent individual, but I still live with my parents. And since I'm a conservative person with money, it doesn't disappear very fast. Plus, I typically get a break around 1:30-2:00, during which I eat the free employee meal. On the down side, the place can get really, really busy which tires me, and my feet and lower back ache after an hour or two.

The people at McDonalds are quite diverse in appearance and personality. The highest-ranking person is Dave, who seems to resemble Vince McMahon. He's a quiet but agreeable person. Miss Daphne is the highest level manager and is equally kind and tough. She recently lost her 23-year-old daughter Tori, who was one of her subordinate managers. Jennifer is another manager. Isaac is one of the other few maintainers. Unique is how I describe him. Annoying is another. He runs his mouth and doesn't think before he speaks. He has several different terms he's called me by: "Jimmy Dean", "Daniel Boone", "Peanut", "F*cknut". However, he is clearly an excellent and skilled worker, having been there for 13(?) years. Brandon is a weekend worker with a satiric sense of humor. He also does sounds and impersonations. Rambo (I think his real name is Robert) is another veteran of the place, now in his 4th year. He is also very funny. Then there are others who I find less notable: Vicky, Connie, Nycole and her boyfriend James, Eleanna, Brenda, Miranda, etc...

Second of all, I've decided to put off college until fall 2010. The main reason for that is the fact that they don't answer the phone at Independence Community College. These statistics are estimates, but by no means exaggerations. I have a 10% chance of getting an answer, another 10% chance that they'll call back if I leave a message, and an 80% chance that nothing will ever happen. I missed the date for turning in the financial aid forms because of outdated information on their website, and in any case I still needed to schedule orientation and it just seemed off to start in spring 2010. So I'm out of school for another 9 months. I really will be taking a year off of school then.

I'm already thinking about what my New Year's Resolutions will be. Currently they include: 1) Living more godly; 2) Being more in-depth in my Bible study; 3) Pray more; 4) Use better posture and eye care when using the computer, since I'm usually on it most of the day.

My review of "Ben 10: Alien Swarm": Out of 100, I have to give it an 82. The movie had a good plot and sequence of events. It added two good items to the Ben 10 mythology. First was the fact that Plumbers ride motorcycles. These were seen extensively in the movie. Second was the futuristic-looking command center that was in the back (and presumably underground) of a car repair shop/gas station. The female actors were very cute. But I did have a few quibbles with it. The plot itself was cliche: the main character goes against the established order to act on a hunch. This could also be questionable to parents, since if they let their kids see this, then their children might get some ideas. About 15 minutes into the movie, there's an argument between Grandpa Max and Ben, and Max gives in way too easily. Of course, without that scene, the rest of the film would have been worthless. BTW, I noticed Ben and Gwen kept calling him "Max", not "Grandpa Max". The movie could have used a little bit more light in it. And probably my biggest issue with it - which shows how it's a minor one anyhow - is the fact that these kids are 16 years old, and yet their actors are all at least 23. Even Daniel Radcliffe was about the same age as the character Harry Potter he portrayed. But all in all, this was a good movie.

[EDIT: 1/1/2010: I originally, accidentally, said I had put off college until 2012. No, I mean 2010! Ugh, this whole end-of-the-world scare is messing my typing up!]