Growing Up

Twenty-Three
With the exception of my 21st birthday, I've made a post on here to remember each birthday since I started this blog. My God how I have changed over the last four years alone. This past Sunday was my 23rd birthday.

If 22 didn't feel significant, 23 does. At 18 you're legally an adult. At 21, you're able to drink. At 22 you're generally the age where people graduate from college. 23 feels like the transition from adolescent to adult. At this point, I can't help but feel the excuse of youth no longer applies to me. People are lenient on those who are young, because they probably don't understand how the world works. 23 is still kind of young, but not like 21 or 22.

When I hear 23 I think of someone who is done or close to done with the training that is high school, college, and those messy relationships where nobody actually knows what they're doing. It sounds like someone getting themselves firmly planted in life.

Now Is My Time
Now's my time. I will still have family and close friends to rely on, but the world isn't going to baby me anymore. All my life I was pushed in one direction, encouraged in another. That stops at this point. It's no longer expected that I'm going to screw up. It's expected that I'm going to do things right.

In a way, 23 is a scary age, because it's one of change. It's the point where I'm removed from the coddling of youth and placed in the realm of adulthood where I'm expected to pull my weight or drown in the current. Those supportive institutions I could fall on before? Yeah, those are for a certain age range and I'm no longer in it.

But it's also a bit of an exciting age, because now it's up to me where my life goes, more or less. If I want to make progress in my hobbies, I need to be diligent to pursue those things. Nobody's going to do them for me. Nobody's going to go out of their way to make me better at them. It's up to me to find the resources and the people. The world isn't looking to make me happy or smart. The world is full of people just trying to keep themselves alive and somewhat content.

What Do I Want?
If I'm going to set into motion making life into something I like, it has to start now. Indeed, on Sunday I began the process. The yearning for simplicity I've wanted for so long? I'm going for it. It's hard fighting things that are so deeply ingrained into my psyche as to almost be instinctual. But I'm not expecting perfection from myself right off the bat. I've gained some vision in the things I want to devote my energies in. I haven't (yet) jumped back on the weight loss bandwagon. I need to figure how how I'm gonna fit time into doing that. I wanted to find a way to serve my church, and in a few weeks' time I'll begin acting as one of the radio hosts for my church's Sunday broadcasts. I'm also going to (try) and become more intentional about dating and the like.