Friday, March 18, 2011

Post 19: Treat Others Like They're Dying

There is something I've noticed in people that has made me curious for years now. Consider how we normally treat people - even our friends and family in many cases - during typical day-to-day interaction. We say our hello's, banter with them for a bit with various levels of depth and intimacy with the conversations, do whatever it is we do with them, then say our goodbye's and leave. If you're with someone who's not a very close friend or even a total stranger, we may give them very brief attention or even ignore them altogether.

I know from experience how this works. As a self-proclaimed introvert with quite a bit of evidence to back that claim up, I know a thing or two about not giving people a moment of my time. When I pass a stranger in the streets I prefer that him and I don't make eye contact or even exchange a simple "Hello." We don't know each other, and I'd rather it stay that way. On Facebook I have some 150 friends but there are maybe a dozen or two who I am in regular contact with. As for the rest, I see their names on my News Feed and maybe Like a status or two but for the most part there's little interaction. People like those are the ones who I snip from my friends list every now and then.

Yet consider when we find out someone is sick or injured. If a stranger falls to the ground while you're out walking, are you going to at least stop and look to see if they might possibly need help? I do that when something seems odd. Or a stronger example: recently a friend of mine had her molars removed and she was in pain for a couple days. A couple of our mutual friend were offering to help her however they could. Or an even stronger example: someone has been diagnosed with a form of cancer or leukemia. Everyone is suddenly jumping to provide any assistance they can. (I'm not trying to downplay the seriousness of any form of disease or suffering. I am using the way people are there to support for a point I'm about to make.) But when that friend's scars heal or when the cancer patient either goes into remission or passes on, there comes a period when people think, "They're all set; they don't need further help."

Can you see this stark difference between apathy and compassion? Bar my select few, I like others probably won't be so apt to help others because from my POV, they're adequately self-sufficient. Why offer more to someone who seems to have enough? But then, when it becomes obvious the other person is as much a fragile human being and their fragility is revealed through a malign tumor or shed tear, some tiny ounce of compassion shows itself.

Why we do this is something that's long made me curious. We can almost be downright cruel to each other then suddenly flip to the utmost compassion. I think we should always have compassion on each other, don't you think? Even when someone outwardly fine, who knows what kind of inside troubles they are experiencing? I have problems that I tell very few people. We all have situations which are best left unsaid to others and we only reveal when prodded for information. To show that kind of love to others just because they're freaking humans just like us - that would scare some people! I have given people compliments throughout the years and they would literally sit there not knowing how to receive it. Yet what if that typical coldness we show, in various degrees, to others were replaced by a warmth, a compassion, an act that means "I give a darn about you!" even if it's just saying "Good morning" to that person you pass in the streets. Even for a self-proclaimed introvert such as myself, that's hardly a difficult task. The post is called "Treat Others Like They're Dying" because when people are in the final stretch of their lives and passing on is approaching, or when they're fighting a disease and they don't know if they'll live through it, we get so loving toward them. Why not be that way with everyone, all the time.