Post 29: Twenty: Start of a New Decade of Life

My twentieth birthday is upon us and I figured I would post about it. I'll present the chronological events first, then my thoughts on it.

The day before, August 2nd, I realized that I was turning 20 and began wondering what I wanted to do with the next decade of my life, but I'll elaborate on that later. The morning of my birthday was fairly normal. Work has been unusually busy recently despite the fact we're in a drought, when it would make more sense to stay home. Today was a relatively slow day, which enabled me to act a little slower and joke around a bit more. I received plenty of "Happy birthday"s and looks of amazement when I say I'm turning 20 (I look like I'm 18).

Observing that I hadn't yet received any presents for my birthday, one of my coworkers borrowed markers from another coworker and surprised me with the picture of a slice of cake drawn on a napkin. I thought it was really neat, even though the flame was purple.

I get home and tell my girlfriend of six months, Breanna, that I was home so she could come over. She wanted to visit for my birthday and my parents didn't object. They really like her. My mother suggested I take a shower so I did so. Unexpectedly, Breanna arrives while I'm still in the shower. She and my mom begin chatting while my mother braids her hair. I get out and sit in the living room with them. Recently I've begun wearing tank tops (aka muscle shirts or wifebeaters) because I've seen Breanna wear them and with the kind of 100-degree weeks we've been having lately, I needed something that is semi-decent yet ventilated. At first they're quite itchy but now I'm getting used to it. You know how in the movies, there comes that time when the mother busts out the baby pictures and shows them to the girlfriend? That happened today, and I was not embarrassed by it. I was, however, a little displeased with how I looked between the ages of 11-15.

My father comes home from work and my parents leave for Wal-Mart to get me a cake and a present. I've really been wanting a black fedora but alas they could not find them. They come home and reveal they've bought me a 4 gigabyte memory card for my cell phone much to my nerdy delight. Later on, card problems result in me having my mother's 8 gigabyte card! Our dinner is hot dogs and French fries.

It was originally intended that me and Breanna would head to her church for Wednesday afternoon service however her grandma had some family issues that needed to be attended to and she was low on gas, so it was decided Bre would hang out at my place until sundownWhen my mother's ghost-themed shows started coming on at 6, my father went upstairs into their bedroom to rest and watch the stuff he likes. We spent the evening cuddled up, watching TV with my mother, and playing Farkle. I intermittently logged onto the Internet from my phone. I've had some 30 birthday wishes from friends and family today. Shortly after 9 Bre went home. We hugged and kissed in the living room, to which my mother just had to make a tease. Now my parents have officially seen me kiss a young woman.

Back to what I was considering. My twenties are perhaps the most influential years of my life. What I do in the next decade will largely decide what the rest of my life is. I have big plans for myself and in these next few years I'm going to make it or break it. This is the time in which I join the rest of society, bringing to the table my eccentric way of living and looking at things. I asked myself, "What do I want to do by the time I'm 30?" and here are a few ideas:

• Register to vote. I  could have this done by next week. I wanted to register when I turned 18 but I never quite got around to it. I want to get this done. I believe that as an American citizen voting is an important right to utilize. This is a nation "of the People, by the People, for the People" (Lincoln, Gettysburg Address) and since the government is chosen by the People, I want to have a say in what our leadership is. My political alignment is strange: I'm socially conservative (I believe the government should uphold traditional, in this case Christian, values) yet economically liberal (I believe the government should have an active role in the economy and helping the needy). I've used the term centrist to describe myself and also socialist to a lesser degree. The true term, as I found out, is "populist." Registering to vote can be done on the Internet in what seems like a few minutes.
• Get my driver's license. Pretty important since I'm moving three hours' worth away in a year for university. Also, get a car.
• Graduate university. With a Bachelor's of Science in computer science.
• Get a job I love. As a computer programmer of some sort.
• Start my own company. If I can't find a satisfying job, I'll make a little Web programming company. It will primarily do browser-based multiplayer games like OGame, World of Warcraft, and so on. I have some game ideas I'd like to write.
• Buy a house for myself. I really don't know where I'm going to live after university, wherever the jobs are. But I want to buy a house for myself and have a stable place to live. Of course, my parents own our current house so in later years I could probably move into this one.

• Get married. I've never considered getting married because that's just not something I can schedule. But as a married coworker told me today, I shouldn't put that off too long. I work with men in their late forties and fifties who never married. I see marriage not as a constraint but rather a blessing.

So my presents this year:

• $25 dollar check from my grandparents.
• A card from said grandparents.
• A drawn cake on a napkin. 
• A card from my grandmother on the other side of the family.
• A card from my girlfriend, who forgot to bring it with. 
• A 4 GB memory card from my cell phone, which ended up being an 8 gig card due to technical issues.
• An anime-style picture of me and Bre popping out of a cake drawn by a very talented friend.

Post 11: Farsighted Faith

During my preteen years I was in a depression that required me to go to counseling to get out of. One of my habits was sitting close to the TV, maybe a yard or two away from it. As a result of this habit my eyesight was ruined. I wear glasses now so I can see and when my eyes were last checked, my vision was around 20/85. It has probably degraded further because of all the time I've spent in front of computers, however recently I've begun taking preemptive measures to stop the damage.

I'm short-sighted. A fancier term for that would be "myopia". If I take my glasses off, I can see up close things just fine, and usually take off my glasses when reading. However, without my glasses distant things start to blur. The glasses put everything in perspective for me.

Surely if you have more than ten brain cells, you should be able to see the analogy I just made here.

Something I noticed either today or yesterday that really struck me: on one of the message boards that I visit regularly, there was this one dude who really pushed the limits as to what he could and couldn't say. I have a Christian name on the forum and he sent me mean private messages and made two threads badmouthing Christianity. Simply put, he was a troll. And for the longest time he didn't get punished because he had held back just enough to not break the rules. However recently he was banned. Now he has a new account and is less questionable.

Often people will spend years waiting for God to fulfill a prayer and help them out of something, and it's very easy to get frustrated and give up. For example, I have fought on and off to gain control of my words. I'm normally quite impulsive when I speak and there have been plenty of times where the results were disasterous. Yet I haven't been able to fully capture control over what I say. Many times I've lost patience and given up.

My faith, and unfortunately I'd say the faith of most of the body of Christ, is short-sighted. Our spiritual myopia causes us to want instant results. It's human nature to want everything done right away, ASAP. Sometimes, God will do that. But many times, things are delayed for months or years. 

The banning of that troll demonstrated that even when nothing seems to be happening, justice will be carried through. Your healing will be done. That loved one you pray for will be saved. What is needed is for us, and this includes myself, to be in a sense farsighted.  Look ahead into the future. Picture the problem being solved. Believe God will have what need to be done accomplished. Start doing what needs to be done to ensure that it'll be accomplished. And between the time you start that step of faith and God makes that move that brings that desire to realization, just keep chugging. Keep doing what needs to be done. Don't focus on current situations that seem to indicate failure or nothing at all happening. The future is an uncertain thing. You never actually know what lies ahead until you experience it. Not every outcome has signs to indicate that change is coming. I didn't know that I would be told how much I was messing up my Bible study, when I was planning to speak on what a relationship with Jesus is.