Saturday, July 27, 2013

Check-In #9

Starting weight: 205 lbs.
Last week's weight: 188 lbs.
This week's weight: 187 lbs.

Well, poop. I was seeing weights in the 185/186 range throughout the week, but ultimately the scale failed to meet expectations. This may or may not have something to do with eating an entire Braum's carton of ice cream over the course of like four days.  It seems insignificant. One bowl of ice cream isn't going to contribute much difference. But an entire carton? That does have a meaningful impact as I've found out. Oh well, it was still a loss in weight.

Next Saturday, the tenth weigh-in, will be my 22nd birthday. I would be really happy to hit 185 for my birthday.

18 pounds down. 47 to go.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Check-In #8

Starting weight: 205 lbs.
Last week's weight: 190 lbs.
This week's weight: 188 lbs.

Splurged a little too much on cookies the other day. Glad it didn't terribly affect my weight loss. In fact earlier, before I recorded my official weight, the scale had said 185! For a glorious moment I was 20 pounds down!

It seems my body has taken to losing 2 pounds a week. I'm quite happy with that. According to this trend I should reach my goal weight of 140 in January. I guess I'm OK with this.

Nothing else to report. 17 pounds lost, 48 pounds left.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Not So Idealistic

Maybe it's just part of growing up, growing old, or just plain losing faith in myself, but I've been thinking recently. What if my world isn't as limitless and grand as I've always thought it to be? I've long imagined that any reasonable if lofty goal could be accomplished with proper planning and commitment. And part of me has tended to believe that I was of some importance in my local world. However, I find myself reconsidering these things.

"Don't Dream Too Big"

What is it that we're told from our youth? That we can do anything we set our minds to. If you're passionate about something and have the determination to push endlessly toward some goal, you can attain it. Right?

Maybe I'm a bit late snapping to reality but I'm not so sure this is true. Sure it's encouraging to little ears but for those who have seen what it really takes to accomplish anything worthwhile, that good idea might only be that - a good idea.

Let's be frank. There are some things I want to do in this life that I just won't accomplish. For instance, I probably won't make much money online. There are a lot of people who are able to get a decent cash flow off the Internet, doing things like making YouTube videos, running websites, and what have you. I'd like to do that. I'd like to do that to the point where I don't need to get some job requiring all kinds of moving around and coming home tired. Off and on I have made the occasional attempt at opening up some source of income, and nothing ever came of it. The fact is, only a handful of people can do Internet for a living. And the competition is very intense. Some unknown like me just won't make it. And in any case, as a college student I really don't have the time to manage such as lifestyle.

Or the idea of making a novel. I have tried writing novels but I have yet to come up with a storyline long enough to reach novel's length. I wonder if there is a good market for short stories and novellas? Anyway, after doing some reading I have concluded that seeking to be a novelist is unfeasible and not worth my time. The likelihood of a novel of mine appearing in a bookstore is shamefully low, not even worth the consideration.

Then there is going to some kind of Bible college. That would be doable if not for the time factor. Once I graduate from K-State I'm going to be hopping as quickly as I can into the web development field. How can I expect that to leave me sufficient time for taking online classes? Unless my work is only part-time I would simply be too mentally fatigued to focus on classes. So it's a pipe dream, and will remain as such.

"I'm Not a Big Deal"

Everyone told me I was smart when I was young. College was a sure thing. I would get a good job and live a happy, easy life. In fact I was given the impression that I'm pretty special, a worthwhile expenditure of oxygen.

So if I am so grand, why am I working part-time jobs at fast food joints? Surely someone who has above average intelligence and a lot of potential is worth more than minimum wage. Or maybe not. In the past few weeks I've realized that to the world, I'm really not worth all that much. I'm just another average college student who has yet to demonstrate his worth as anything more than a table cleaner. That is rather depressing.

This is where my Christian faith comes in to play. As a Christian, I have the privilege of holding great self-worth. Why? Because I believe that God, the creator of this expansive universe, sent his only Son to die a miserable death for all the sins I would ever commit. There is a lot of personal investment on God's part to save us humans, tiny specks in the universe, from ourselves. That is an invitation to hold oneself in high regard - though not to the point of pride, obviously.

"A Smaller Idea of Myself"

Even so, these realizations have led me to think of myself in somewhat smaller terms. The fantastic will not be normal for me. I will not make a name for myself. I'm just one face out of seven billion. I will come and go like almost everyone else.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Check-In #7

Starting weight: 205 lbs.
Last week's weight: 192 lbs.
This week's weight: 190 lbs.

Yes! Finally at 15 pounds down. It took entirely too long, in my opinion, but at least it's happened. (Technically the scale read 189.6 lbs., but I round for simplicity. And when I look at my gut, I see it's not the only thing that's rounded.)

My diet doesn't really change very much, nor does my form of exercise which is work. For lunch after work I've adopted the habit of having a chicken salad. At first I would have ranch dressing but I know it's rather unhealthy. Recently I switched to Italian dressing. Not only does it taste better, the little bit of reading I've done indicates it might in fact be a healthier option. Usually for a drink I have a cup of root beer. I was originally getting a medium-sized cup but I read something online which I was amazed I hadn't realized: getting a medium is wasteful of money when a restaurant allows free refills! So from now on it's small drinks.

50 pounds to go. It's a nice round number, and quite reassuring to see.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Check-In #6

Starting weight: 205 lbs.
Previous weigh-in: 194 lbs.
This week's weight: 192 lbs.

A loss of two pounds in one week! This is really encouraging for me! Hopefully I will drop another two pounds by next week. I want to be able to say I've lost 15 pounds. 

Nothing particularly special about this past week. Returned home from that trip to see the family. Got back into my regular flow of things. I worked for six days in a row. Usually after work I have lunch there. My options have generally been a bacon cheeseburger, or a chicken salad. Obviously, desiring to lose weight means I try and opt for the chicken salad, which is a bit big but also pretty tasty. My main concern is the ranch dressing. I've heard that ranch dressing is unhealthy. However, I kinda sorta need some kind of dressing on salad. Otherwise it tastes ridiculously plain. Maybe I should research other, healthier dressing options.

13 pounds gone. 52 to go.